**Welcome to my IVF Journal! In here you will find entries detailing our journey with IVF. Our first baby was conceived naturally but due to a genetic condition we later discovered we are carriers of, we pursued IVF with PGD/PGS to ensure we only had "healthy" babies going forward. I love reading back on all that we went through during IVF to get our babies here!**
Friday, December 12th (2014): Finished For Now
It's hard to believe we've made it to this point but it sure is exciting! I'm officially 13 weeks today which means I get to stop taking Progesterone and Estrogen supplements. Happy day! Taking the pills isn't a big deal but it sure will be nice to have two less things to worry about. Our first transfer experience couldn't have gone better and we feel so blessed with the success we've had. This IVF journal will once again be retired until we start this journey again. Thank you all for your continued love and support!
Tuesday, December 9th (2014): What?!
So I've heard before that there are three ways to take Progesterone supplements; through the shot, by taking a pill, and by using a suppository. I always figured that every clinic uses shots because they're the most effective and I didn't think much of it after that. Boy was I wrong! I was hanging out with some girlfriends last night who are experienced with IVF and one of them (who goes to the same doctor as me!) said that our clinic allows you to use the suppository after you get a positive pregnancy test! Excuse me?! I would have given anything to switch from the shot...until she said that the suppositories cost $450/week :| I'm going to have to start saving now so I can convince Logan to let me switch to suppositories during our next transfer!
Monday, November 24th (2014): Done! (Kinda)
Monday, October 25th (2016): Graduated!
After the great scan yesterday, I have officially
graduated from the care of my IVF doctor and will move on to be seen by a
high-risk OB at IMC. My first
appointment is on November 11th when I’m exactly 10 weeks
along. We’re hoping for an even clearer
scan then!
Until next time, IVF Journal!
Monday, October 24th (2016): Viability Scan
Our scan was everything we hoped for this morning! There is still a large blood clot but we were
able to clearly see our baby girl and hear her heartbeat and our doctor
declared everything “picture perfect!” It’s surreal to think this is all
happening again and we are feeling beyond blessed!
Sunday, October 16th (2016): Second Ultra
Sound
We were really hoping to see a lot of progress with the
clot today but unfortunately not much had changed. Instead of having us come back in a day or
two we’re just going to wait until my originally scheduled viability scan on
Monday the 24th. We’re really
hoping the clot will be gone by that time!
Friday, October 14th (2016): Lots of
Blood/Ultra Sound
I was hoping and praying that my bleeding would stop
after going to bed last night so when I woke up at 3am because I had bled so
much and soaked everything I was totally discouraged. I went into the bathroom and started passing
decent sized clots which totally freaked me out. I called my poor mom and woke her up and she
assured me that I was okay but that passing clots usually means you’re
miscarrying. My stomach pains and cramps
were really bad at this point so I knew things weren’t in my favor but I still
felt really peaceful that everything would be okay.
We went to the clinic for an ultra sound this morning
hoping to see a heartbeat like we did with Austin but there was a large blood
clot covering the entire gestational sac.
Because he couldn’t see anything, he wanted me to have another beta
drawn to see what it had done in the last 9 days. If it had gone down, that would mean we were
miscarrying but if it had gone up at all that would be encouraging. I knew it would be a good number because I
have been SO sick and tired lately. They
called earlier today and told me that my beta was 22,800! My doctor was “pleasantly surprised” and
confident that I can get through this.
We’re going in again on Sunday for another ultra sound to see what the
clot looks like. Prayers for progress!
Thursday, October 13th (2016): Bleeding
It’s deja vu to say the least. During Austin’s pregnancy I began bleeding at
six weeks and one day. I just began
bleeding tonight and I am one day shy of six weeks. The bleeding isn’t super heavy so I’m holding
on to that but I do have some cramping as well.
We called the clinic and they want us to come in tomorrow morning at
7:00am for an ultra sound. Fingers
crossed the bleeding slows down tonight!
Wednesday, October 5th (2016): Second Beta
My second beta was fabulous! I just got a call from the clinic and was
hoping for a beta of at least 2,096 and it was 2,649! We know this pregnancy is strong and couldn’t
be more thrilled!
Monday, October 3rd (2016): Officially
Pregnant!!
Even though we had taken a home pregnancy test on Friday
and received a positive result, I still couldn’t wait to hear the results of my
first beta this morning! I ran to the
clinic at 8am this morning and had my blood drawn and waited by my phone all
morning for the call. Of course they
decide to call during the 5 minutes I was putting Austin down but I called them
right back and heard great news! My
first beta, which they want to see over 100, was 1,048! With Austin it was 539 so almost double! We are so happy! I’ll go back on Wednesday to make sure it
doubles and then after that we’ll have the viability scan three weeks from
today on the 24th!
Sunday, October 2nd (2016): Sick
It looks like nausea is already making its arrival! With my first two pregnancies, I didn’t throw
up until 6ish weeks but at just over 4 weeks this time I am already throwing
up! As much as I don’t like throwing up,
I know that’s a good sign of a strong pregnancy so I’ll take it!
Friday, September 30th (2016): Pregnant!!
After our transfer with Austin, I never had a desire to
take a home pregnancy test and Logan was always supportive of whatever I wanted
to do. I never planned on taking one
this time around either but on Friday night I had to run to the store for a few
things and got the urge to know so I grabbed one! Logan and I already knew it was positive
because of the peace we felt from the spirit and I was anxious to tell the rest
of our siblings but didn’t want to until we had a positive test. I came home, took it without telling Logan I
was going to, and it came back “Yes+”!
Even though we knew it was going to work, I couldn’t help but get
emotional and was so relieved to see that three-letter word. I went and showed Logan and he was thrilled
too but we truly didn’t expect anything different. We are so excited!!
I have been feeling great since our transfer over a week
and a half ago and don’t have any complaints at all. I have felt some very minor cramping but I
know that’s normal and I saw the tiniest trace of old, brown blood today but
that didn’t worry me either because that’s common as well. The time I’d get nervous is if I had pretty
severe cramping along with bright, red blood.
Hopefully we never see any of that!
The shots are going pretty well.
I’ve continued to give them to myself and that is a nice change. I’m able to find the best spot with the least
amount of scar tissue and I can inject the progesterone at the pace that works
for me. My hips are super sore but it’s
so worth it, especially now that we have a positive pregnancy J
I go into the clinic tomorrow morning for my first beta
and then they’ll call me tomorrow afternoon.
It’s SO nice going into tomorrow’s blood test already knowing what the
outcome will be. I’ll then go back again
on Wednesday morning for my second beta to make sure my level doubles and then
I’ll go back to the clinic one more time for a viability scan around 7 weeks.
I am just over 4 weeks pregnant which means I have
another 6 weeks of shots and pills and then I’ll be free! We’re so excited to start sharing our news
with more family and friends so hopefully the next several weeks goes by fast!
Wednesday, September 21st (2016):
Transferred!
I’m pregnant! I’m
not even going to consider any other alternative J. Everything went extremely well today and just
like last time, we had a very sweet experience with the whole thing. We showed up about 10 minutes early and were
called back right around 10:15. As soon
as we got in our room and I changed, I remembered that I was supposed to come
with a full bladder and I don’t think I had taken a single drink this morning! I was dying.
I figured that if worse came to worse, they would give me a bottle of
water and delay it by a half hour. It’s
necessary to have a full bladder because they’re better able to see the entire
uterus and exactly where they need to go.
The doctor reassured me that it was just fine and he could see
everything he needed so I didn’t need to worry.
Before the transfer we asked him to tell us the gender but he didn’t
have that information with him so we had to wait until we were done. They put our little embryo up on the screen
so we could see it getting sucked up and then a couple seconds later the
embryologist walked in and voila!
After I got back in my clothes a nurse came in to give me
a shot of Lupron. They didn’t used to do
this but they started recently because apparently it gives your progesterone
level a boost so it’s supposed to help.
As the nurse was leaving we explained that we wanted to know the gender
of our embryo so she went and found the right people. Two cute nurses walked in (one was so excited
for us to hear!) and she said: “Okay, do you have any other children at
home?” We explained that we have two
boys but one of them passed away and we would be thrilled with either. She smiled and said: “Well, you’re going to have
to buy new clothes!” A girl! Logan and I both started crying and were SO
excited! We would have been so happy
with another boy but everyone wants one of each, right? I have to admit that I wasn’t the least bit
surprised because I’ve had some special experiences lately confirming that it
would be a girl and Logan kept saying as we walked out: “You knew it! Oh my gosh, you totally knew it!” I
definitely did J
I go into the clinic in just under two weeks on October 3rd
to have my blood drawn and that’s when we’ll find out for sure that it
worked. I have no doubt we will get good
news!
Tuesday, September 20th (2016): Transfer
Eve!
I’m about to head to bed and I can’t believe that when I
wake up it will be transfer time! It’s
seriously as good as Christmas.
Embryology called this morning and asked us to be there at 10:15. Last time we waited a half hour before going
back so I bet the actual transfer won’t happen until 11:00ish. Once we see the doctor he will tell us about
the quality of the embryo as well as the gender!
I have given myself the injection the last couple days
and I think I’m going to keep it that way because I’ve gotten the hang of it
and it’s not hurting much at all! I
barely feel the stick and the injecting doesn’t hurt as much as when Logan does
it because I can control how fast I’m doing it.
My hips kill afterward and are ugly and bruised but it’s all so worth it
J
I can’t wait for tomorrow!
Sunday, September 18th (2016): Giving
Myself Progesterone
There are going to be nights over the next couple of
months that Logan and I won’t be together when it’s time for my injection so I
gave it to myself last night so I could learn to do it when he’s not
around. I was SUPER freaked out (Logan
would agree) but when I finally got the guts to stick myself it actually wasn’t
bad! I could barely feel the poke, which
is what I was most freaked out about, but the actual injecting was a bit
crappy. I was at an awkward angle and
the progesterone is super thick so it took forever but I got it done without
any problems!
Only two more days until our transfer! Logan gave me a wonderful blessing yesterday
and we both feel extremely peaceful and excited about what’s to come. I’ll receive a call from the embryologist
tomorrow night telling us what time to be there and then before we know it it
will be go time! If I’ve done my math
right, I will be 12 weeks right on or around Thanksgiving Day which also
happens to be my birthday this year.
Talk about a fun time to announce our pregnancy!
Friday, September 16th (2016): ProgesteroneL
Logan just gave me my first progesterone shot and it was
actually completely painless! If the
rest of them are like the one tonight then I will be one happy mama! I told him to remember exactly how he did it
so he can do it the same way tomorrow but he reminded me that scar tissue will
build up so over time it will hurt more.
Darn. Oh well, at least the first
one wasn’t bad at all! The first 2.5
weeks of progesterone are the worst because you’re doing it before you know
whether or not the transfer worked. I
feel very confident ours will but still, it’s nice knowing for sure you’re
actually cooking something and not doing these nasty shots for nothing. Our first blood draw to determine if I’m
pregnant is on October 3rd so only 16 more shots until we know!
Wednesday, September 14th (2016): Lining
Check
Not much has happened in the past two weeks except that I
finally stopped bleeding after 10 days!
Thank goodness! I did have my
lining check yesterday and everything looked great. They wanted it to be above 7.5 and mine was
8.6 and it is also Trilaminar (don’t ask me what that means). All I know is that my uterus is ready to
accept a baby!
They have me on the schedule for next Wednesday,
September 21st, for the transfer and I’ll find out a time on Tuesday
evening. I continue Lupron for one more
day and then on Friday I stop the Lupron, decrease the estrace, and begin the
progesterone. I was hoping to give
myself the progesterone injections in the morning so I could get it over with
but they recommend the evening so I’ll just deal with it. It can be kind of annoying if we’re out doing
something and I have to carry my shot with me and do it in public but oh
well. It’s all so worth it! We haven’t asked the gender of the embryo
they’re transferring yet but we’ll probably do what we did last time and ask
what it is on the morning of the transfer.
I just wish it was next Wednesday already!
Wednesday, August 31st (2016): Estrace,
BCPs & Bleeding
I started taking the estrogen supplements today but
thankfully they’re just a pill and not an injection. I know some clinics require an estrogen
injection so I’m glad that’s not the case for me. I’ll be taking the estrogen until I’m 10
weeks pregnant so quite a while. In the
past I feel like the estrogen supplements have made me super emotional (which
is understandable) so I always have to remind myself that it’s not really me
and to just take it easy. My next
appointment isn’t for two weeks so until then I’ll just continue the Lupron
injections and estrogen pills. I
finished taking the birth control on Saturday which is nice because it’s just
one less thing to worry about.
I mentioned last week that I started bleeding about ten
days ago and I can’t believe it but I still am!
It’s not light either, it’s super heavy.
Logan spoke my mind today when he said: “The female anatomy is
crazy! How can you bleed for this long
and be okay?!” I completely agree! Hopefully this madness stops soon cause it’s
getting real old!
Tuesday, August 30th (2016): Not a Complete
Secret!
Just like Logan and I suspected, I could no longer keep
this transfer a secret from my parents so I told them! I felt like I really wanted someone aside
from Logan to talk to about everything and I was dying to have our moms babysit
without making up fake reasons why. As
expected, my mom cried and my dad was thrilled.
Logan told his parents and they were excited too! It will be a great feeling knowing they are
praying and fasting for us during the next several weeks. We asked them not to tell our siblings so we
can surprise them so that will be fun J
I actually told my parents right before they left to guide a church history
tour back east so they were able to pray for us in some very sacred places and
I could definitely feel the power of their prayers. I’m so happy they know!
Wednesday, August 24th (2016): Hiding the
Lupron
One reason I was worried about keeping this transfer a
secret from our families is because it can be difficult to hide medications
that have to be in the fridge, lots of needles, and everything else that comes
along with IVF. I found good hiding
places for everything but wasn’t sure what to do about the Lupron that I have
to keep refrigerated. I never should
have doubted that Logan could come up with something tricky! We had an almost empty Sour Cream container
that he cleaned out and then put the medication into. It’s actually quite brilliant since most
people won’t pick up a random Sour Cream container in the fridge. Good thinking, Logan!
For the most part people don’t ask us a whole lot about
when we’ll do our next transfer but for the first time I got asked straight up
by my mom yesterday and it was so hard to fib to her! We were walking through Costco and she
specifically asked: “So when do you and Logan think you’ll do another
transfer?” I technically didn’t lie because I responded: “I think we’ll have
another baby next year so we’ll probably need to visit Dr. Peterson in October
to talk about it.” We will have another baby next year and we will see Dr.
Peterson in October after the transfer.
I still felt guilty though!
Sorry, mom!
Tuesday, August 23rd (2016): Bleeding
While on birth control, it’s common to have breakthrough
bleeding (minor spotting) but they tell you not to expect your period until
closer to transfer. I started bleeding a
couple days ago and it wasn’t as heavy as my normal period but it definitely
seemed like more than spotting so I was a bit nervous something was off. I waited a couple days hoping it would stop
but it continued so I e-mailed the clinic to make sure everything was
okay. They assured me that as long as I
take the BCP every night then the bleeding is fine but that I will probably
continue to bleed for a while. I don’t
mind as long as it’s okay!
Monday, August 22nd (2016): Endometrial
Scratch
I was absolutely exhausted when my alarm went off so
early this morning but all I have to do is think about our baby that I’m doing
this for and it wakes me right up J
Typically I would schedule this appointment during the day but since I can’t
ask my mom or anyone else to babysit (since they don’t know we’re doing this) I
had to go when Logan was home with Austin so 6am it was! Everything went really well with the
appointment and there were no issues with the biopsy or ultra sound. The endometrial scratch is where they take a
small sample of your endometrial lining because cells then have to move all
around your uterus to heal it and for some reason those cells moving around
makes your uterus a more ideal place for an embryo to implant. It’s pretty confusing how it works but I just
trust my doctor J
He said everything looked great and that we can continue full steam ahead!
Sunday, August 21st (2016): First Lupron
Shot
We’re officially under way! I set my alarm for 7:30 this morning and woke
up pretty excited! I snuck upstairs
quietly so I wouldn’t wake Austin and quickly gave myself the 10 units of
Lupron. The Lupron needles are super
small so they’re not painful at all which is nice. I immediately had flashbacks of the other
times I’ve been through this and it felt as if I never stopped!
Unfortunately I’m already having headaches related to the
Lupron, which I dealt with quite a bit during my last transfer too. Hopefully I can manage them okay without
taking too much Tylenol. I feel
exhausted after just getting home yesterday and I have to wake up at 5:00
tomorrow in order to make it to my 6:00 appointment with Dr. Peterson in
Centerville. It’s going to be an
exhausting day!
Saturday, August 20th (2016): Tomorrow!
Logan, Austin and I just got back in town after 11 days
and it feels SO good to be home! We had
a great trip visiting my brother and his family in Minnesota but 11 days is a
long time so it feels wonderful to be in our own home again. I really can’t believe I start the Lupron
injections tomorrow! I’ve decided to do
all of my injections in the morning this time around because I hated
anticipating them all day long. I’ll set
an alarm for 7:30 every morning and make sure I get them done before Logan
leaves for work and school. I continue
the BCPs for one more week and should finish those up next Saturday and then in
mid-September I’ll add the estrogen pill to my agenda as well. Now that the injections are truly here it
feels like I never stopped them and the memories are flooding back! I hope it goes okay tomorrow!
Thursday, August 4th (2016): Going
Well/Getting Closer
Things continue to go well with the BCPs but I still
don’t like them. I’ve tried several
different types of birth control and I’ve never felt that great on it. I feel nauseated most days but it’s not the
end of the world. I get to stop taking
it three weeks from Saturday so that will be nice! Not that the road gets any easier from there
though ;)
I had a thought that hit me hard the other day (in a good
way): I’m going to be pregnant next month!
I mentioned that to Logan and he had a similar reaction to mine. It honestly feels like I just was pregnant
with Austin. Those are the joys of
child-bearing years, right? Always
feeling like you’re pregnant! Here’s
another crazy thought: I have been pregnant for at least a short time in 2011
(that pregnancy ended in miscarriage), 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, and now
2016. It’s crazy to think that the last
time I wasn’t pregnant at some point during the year was 2010!
I’m still 2 ½ weeks from starting the Lupron injections
but I know they will come fast because we leave town on Tuesday for 11 days,
come home the 20th and start Lupron the 21st, then wake
up bright and early for a 6:00am appointment in Davis County on Monday the 22nd. It’s all going to be here before we know it!
Tuesday, July 19th (2016): Trial Transfer
I had my first u/s today which consisted of a trial
transfer where they basically take measurements so they know exactly where to
implant an embryo based on the size of your uterus and cervix. They also take a good look at your uterus and
ovaries to make sure everything looks right and is in the best shape possible
to accept a baby. This part is
especially important for me because I have a history of endometriosis, which
has been removed surgically in the past, so they had to make sure there were no
signs of that. I loved hearing that:
“Everything looks beautiful!” We were given the green light to continue on with
our plan which means birth control for now and injections beginning at the end
of August. I’m excited for that time to
get here!
My body seems to have adjusted to the birth control just
fine this time. I take it at night and
woke up a bit nauseated the first couple mornings but have been fine ever
since. I have an alarm go off every
night at 9:30 as a reminder and it’s a good thing because I would have
forgotten most nights by now! I can’t
have the BC sitting out on my night stand in case someone comes in and it gives
away the secret. I’m dreaming of the day
we get to share this fun news with our families—especially my mom! She came and babysat Austin for me while I
went to my appointment today but I had to tell her I was going to a meeting at
the hospital. I felt so guilty when she
wasn’t even phased! It will all be worth
it in the end J
Tuesday, July 12th (2016): Officially
Started!
Well, I was right!
My period started late Saturday night (shortly after that entry) meaning
it came three days early which is completely unheard of for me. I know my prayers were answered and my period
started exactly when it was supposed to so that’s a really comforting feeling
for us. I took my first BCP last night
and it feels great to have officially started!
I woke up feeling a bit nauseated (which is normal for me while on birth
control) but as soon as I ate something I was fine.
I called the clinic this morning and was able to schedule
the two ultra sounds I need to have before I start the injections later next
month. My first appointment will be a
week from today and my second one will be toward the end of August. One of the trickiest parts about keeping this
a surprise from my family is finding babysitters for Austin. They ask you not to bring your kids to their
office (because of the sensitive nature of the business there) and it would be
hard to bring Austin anyway. I’ll do my
best to schedule them around Logan’s school and work schedule but that can’t
always happen and then there are appointments that he’ll need to come to so we’ll
have to make up some good excuses as to why we need a sitter J
Saturday, July 9th (2016): Period Coming
Early?
I’m not due to start my period until the 12th
but I’m starting to feel crampy already and I typically start within a few
hours after my cramps come. I won’t be
surprised at all if I start my period tonight or tomorrow which would mean it
came two to three days early when I almost always start four weeks to the dot
or maybe one day early at the most. It’s
exciting though! I’ve been praying lately
that my period will start exactly when it’s supposed to—even if that means it
comes early or late—because the start date of my period affects everything from
when I start injections to when the transfer is to when the baby is born so
it’s definitely important. This is one
of the rare occasions you’ll hear my excitement about starting my period!
Monday, June 20th (2016): Birth Control in
Hand
I had to run to the pharmacy tonight to grab my inhaler
and they told me I actually had two prescriptions to pick up. I couldn’t think what else I had called in so
when they told me: “It looks like it’s your birth control” I was caught off
guard because I had forgotten our IVF clinic called it in. It’s so weird to think we’re actually
starting this process! (I think I say
that in every post) I won’t have the rest of the meds sent to me for a month or
so but it certainly feels weird having the birth control in my possession
now. In some ways the waiting part is
much harder than when you’re actually in the trenches. I hope it comes fast!
Tuesday, June 14th (2016): Four Weeks Away!
I started my period this morning which means we’re
officially four weeks away from beginning the prep for our next transfer! My period should start right around July 12th
(give or take a day) and I’ll start taking the birth control (BCPs) on the
third day of my period. Now that I know
it’s officially happening I can’t wait to get the show on the road!
Wednesday, June 1st (2016): Officially
Scheduled
I’ve been in contact with our IVF clinic today and we’re
officially on their calendar! I am set
to have a frozen transfer the week of September 19th. It feels pretty surreal now that we actually
have dates. September seems like ages
away but I know it will come fast because there’s a lot to do before then. I have to start birth control with my July
period, I’ll then start taking estrogen and giving myself Lupron injections at
the end of August, I’ll have a couple ultra sounds at the beginning of
September, yucky progesterone injections will quickly follow, and then the
transfer will be here before we know it!
On top of those things I just mentioned, I also need to have some labs
drawn and an ultra sound done just to make sure everything is healthy and ready
for pregnancy. Hopefully all looks well!
As a reminder, we have two frozen embryos remaining. We will only transfer one of them and leave
the final one for some time down the road.
Our doctor was happy to hear that we only want to transfer one embryo,
especially after learning of our Rh incompatibility issues. Both of our remaining embryos are carriers
(not affected) of SCID but we aren’t worried about carrier status because they
would have to marry someone that is also a carrier and the odds of that are
super low (1 in 3 to 5 million). Logan
and I somehow managed it but hopefully they don’t! Now that the ball is officially rolling I’m
getting pretty excited!
Tuesday, May 31st (2016): It Begins Again!
It’s hard to believe but it looks like we’re getting on
this crazy roller coaster once again! I
just got off the phone with Dr. Peterson after having our initial consult to
prepare for a frozen transfer this fall.
We are excited and nervous all at the same time! Dr. Peterson was pretty shocked to hear about
my Rh sensitization but said it shouldn’t affect my ability to become
pregnant—thank goodness. Of course we
know it will affect my pregnancy once I actually become pregnant but we’ll just
worry about one thing at a time. He said
our chance of a successful transfer is about 60% (which is better than I
thought) but honestly, I don’t worry about the percentages. Whether our chances are 1% or 99% I know it
will work out exactly how God intends it to.
Dr. Peterson’s nurse will contact me in the next couple
days to set up a transfer calendar and officially get me on their books. It’s weird to think it has already been two
years since we did all of this—it feels like yesterday! I wish we didn’t have to go to such extreme
measures to become pregnant but I am so, so grateful this amazing medical
technology is available to us—what a blessing!
How did we come to the decision of starting this process
again? It just kind of came to be. Back in December the subject came up and
Logan and I mentioned the possibility of a transfer during the fall of 2016 but
we didn’t know if we would be ready for sure.
As we prayed and pondered about it, we knew it was right. All spiritual things aside, there are also
some logistical reasons for having a smaller gap between kids rather than a
larger gap. We both knew we wanted
another spring baby and fortunately with IVF you get to choose that. We then had to decide if we wanted a two year
gap or a three year gap. Due to the
endometriosis and Rh disease, it is better if we have a smaller gap because
both of those things build up over time and make it more difficult to become
pregnant the longer we wait. I could
always have the endometriosis removed again but it’s a brutal recovery (for me
anyway) and it isn’t cheap. Rh disease
can’t be removed obviously and my body will continue to create antibodies as
time goes on making the environment for a baby more dangerous. All things considered, we figured we should
go ahead and get the show on the road!
Logan and I both love surprises so we’ve decided to hold
out on telling our families about our plans as long as possible. I love the thought of coming to them this
fall with the news that we’re expecting again but I don’t know if I can last. We’ll see!
It's hard to believe we've made it to this point but it sure is exciting! I'm officially 13 weeks today which means I get to stop taking Progesterone and Estrogen supplements. Happy day! Taking the pills isn't a big deal but it sure will be nice to have two less things to worry about. Our first transfer experience couldn't have gone better and we feel so blessed with the success we've had. This IVF journal will once again be retired until we start this journey again. Thank you all for your continued love and support!
Tuesday, December 9th (2014): What?!
So I've heard before that there are three ways to take Progesterone supplements; through the shot, by taking a pill, and by using a suppository. I always figured that every clinic uses shots because they're the most effective and I didn't think much of it after that. Boy was I wrong! I was hanging out with some girlfriends last night who are experienced with IVF and one of them (who goes to the same doctor as me!) said that our clinic allows you to use the suppository after you get a positive pregnancy test! Excuse me?! I would have given anything to switch from the shot...until she said that the suppositories cost $450/week :| I'm going to have to start saving now so I can convince Logan to let me switch to suppositories during our next transfer!
Monday, November 24th (2014): Done! (Kinda)
I can’t tell you
how good it felt to get my last shot on Friday night! What a relief! My hips are still super sore and irritated
but I've read that it will probably take 2-3 weeks until they start to
feel/look a lot better. Because I
stopped the Progesterone shots, I was also able to stop taking the Estrace
pill. It felt so nice to have a weekend
of freedom where I only had to take my pre-natal vitamin. I excitedly threw away all of my needles as
well as the last three doses of the Progesterone.
The reason I say
I’m “kinda” done is because I had my first appointment yesterday (more details
in my weekly update!) and my OB wants me taking Progesterone until I’m thirteen
weeks. I was so scared I’d have to go back
to the shots but he was totally fine with me taking a pill once a day right
before bed. I will gladly do that! I want to know why the pill doesn’t work
during the IVF stuff! That would make
life SO much better! So, for another 2 ½
weeks I’m back on a Progesterone pill, the Estrace, and an antibiotic for this
nasty sinus infection I have.
All is well!
Friday, November
20th (2014): Almost Done!
I was so not
looking forward to last night’s shot because both of my hips were super
sore. I was honestly tempted to just
stop two days early but I decided to push through and do the last two no matter
how much they hurt. Logan
Wednesday,
November 19th (2014): Constipated
Sorry, TMI already,
I know. I started taking Zofran last
week to help with my nausea but I stopped taking it almost as quick as I
started because it says right on the bottle that it “may cause
constipation”. It definitely caused it
for me and I've been miserable for about a week now. I tried taking Miralax for the last two days
but that doesn't seem to be doing the trick so I've asked the clinic if there’s
something stronger I can take. Hopefully
I hear back from them soon. The Zofran
has been out of my system for awhile now so I figured things would be back to
normal because of that but I was just reading online this morning that progesterone
will slow down your entire digestive tract.
I have a hunch that my body is making enough progesterone on its own now
so the extra progesterone I’m getting through the shot each night is putting
everything over the edge. I have a
slight hope that the clinic will tell me I can stop the shots tonight but if
not at least I only have three left!
Monday, November
17th (2014): Nasty Shots
I truly never
thought I would complain too much about the progesterone shots but here I am,
so close to the end of them, and I’m complaining. After hitting a nerve in my left hip on
Friday, I can no longer give a shot in that hip. The hives are gone and the skin is healing
but it’s still very sore. We’ve decided
to only give the shot in my right hip from here on out but it was already
irritated from before. I’m able to stop
on Friday but I’ll have three extra doses so I was planning on going until next
Monday but I’m not liking that idea very much anymore. Five more shots and I’m done, done and done!
Friday, November
14th (2014): OOOUUUCCCHHH!
I used to not mind
the progesterone shots but I officially despise them. I hope the next week flies by so I can be
done with these wretched things! Logan
Thursday,
November 13th (2014): Looking Good!
It has now been 2 ½
days since I experienced a tiny bit of bleeding and I haven’t seen anything
since so that’s great news! The shots
and everything else continue to go well but my right hip is not happy so I’ve
been using the left side more often. I
technically only have nine shots left (single digits!) but after next Friday,
when I’m supposed to be done, I’ll have three doses left so I may just finish
them up and that means I’d finish on my birthday. That’s a pretty good birthday
present if you ask me!
Tuesday,
November 11th (2014): A Bit More Blood
I hadn’t seen any
trace or sign of bleeding since our scare a couple weeks ago until last
night. I went in to use the bathroom and
was super surprised to see blood.
Thankfully I wasn’t too concerned at all. I showed Logan
Wednesday,
November 5th (2014): Sick
I’m not
complaining, just documenting. I put
more details in my weekly pregnancy update but wanted to mention here that the
morning sickness has officially hit. I
still feel way better at this point than I did with Eli so that’s a huge
blessing but I’ve thrown up a couple mornings in a row and have to be extra
careful about what I eat and smell.
Being sick is a catch 22 in a way because I obviously hate it but I also
love knowing that things are likely going well inside my body if I’m feeling sick. I know not every woman gets sick (wouldn’t
that be amazing?!) but considering I did last time, I kind of like that I am
sick (to a much lesser degree) this time.
At work I sit by myself up front so I’ve been able to hide my nausea and
discomfort pretty well. I’m hoping I
don’t have to spill the beans to my co-workers for awhile so fingers crossed I
don’t get too much worse from here on out!
The knots in my
hips are extra sore today for some reason.
The shots are still fine and I honestly seem to feel them less and less
because that area of my skin is so numb but for some reason the knots are
really bothering me when I sit down today.
I cannot wait until these things are gone!
Monday, November
3rd (2014): It’s November!
I’m so happy it’s
finally November for many reasons but mostly because a) I finish my shots this
month! 19 to go! and b) I get to see my OB ! I’ve said this once but I’ll say it again: I
know I sound crazy for wanting to go to the doctor so bad but we’ve just looked
forward to this so much. I can’t explain
what it means for us to be to this point.
I’m convinced I’m going to have the best birthday ever this year!
I’m still on pelvic
rest but hopefully won’t be by the end of the week. Because I was bleeding around 6 weeks, the
clinic wants me to go 2 weeks without bleeding so by Friday we shouldn’t have
any restrictions. So far so good as far
as the bleeding goes!
Thursday,
October 30th (2014): Viability U/S
Our u/s today was
fantastic! Sweet Dr. Austin OB
in a few weeks. Happy day! I’m so grateful for our clinic and all
they’ve done for us (we wouldn’t be pregnant without them!) but it does get a
little stressful having to have an u/s so often. It will be so nice to just relax and
hopefully have a “normal” pregnancy from here on out. Dr. Peterson left us by giving us a giant hug
and said: “I’m so happy for the two of you but even happier for this baby
because of the home he’s going into.”
What a sweet, sweet man.
Wednesday,
October 29th (2014): More Blood
I noticed a bit
more blood today when I went to use the restroom but nothing too major. The amount was so small it didn’t even really
phase me. It stopped right away and we
have an u/s tomorrow so that will be a good confirmation that everything is
just fine. It would be nice to not see
any blood at all but I’m glad I still feel so calm about everything!
Tuesday, October
28th (2014): Old Blood
I had a small
amount of bleeding yesterday but it was just old, brown blood so I wasn’t
concerned at all. I actually mentioned
to Logan
Yesterday I
volunteered to help serve dinner in the Ronald McDonald Family Room at PCH and
while we were preparing the food someone came up to me and said: “Liz, your
phone won’t stop ringing.” I almost let
it go but figured I should check it just to be safe. My stomach dropped when I saw that it was
actually my alarm reminding me to give my shot 10 minutes ago! I couldn’t believe I had forgotten so
easily! I didn’t have a choice but to go
home so I told my supervisor that I had completely forgotten about a time
sensitive medication I have to take and that I needed to go home. She completely understood and didn’t mind at
all. I just hope she doesn’t ask too
many questions next time I see her!
I’ve had large
knots in my hips for awhile now but I can now feel them when I walk and it’s
soo annoying! It feels like there are
golf balls in my back so it’s super uncomfortable. The good news is I only have 25 more shots to
go!
Monday, October
27th (2014): And So It Begins…
Let the nausea
begin! I actually feel pretty decent
right this second but this morning was a different story. I think I’m dealing with a little stomach bug
as well because I have minor flu-like symptoms but as I was showering this
morning the pregnancy nausea hit me hard and I threw up in the shower. I hadn’t eaten breakfast yet so not much came
up but it’s still just as crappy. Fingers
crossed it doesn’t last all day!
Aside from a small
amount of old, brown blood my bleeding has stopped completely. Thank goodness! I’m expecting our u/s on Thursday to be our
last one at the clinic and then I won’t have to see a doctor again until I see
my OB. That
will be a happy day indeed!
Sunday, October
26th (2014): U/S
Hallelujah!! All is
well!! I haven't seen any blood today and the cramping is gone so we felt very
confident going into our u/s this morning. The good news is he grew well in the
last few days but the great news is we heard his heartbeat!! Baby's heartbeats
are slower to begin with and then they speed up so they like it to be over 100
at this point and his was 110 :) What a sweet thing to hear!! We were also really pleased when the doctor
looked for the source of the bleeding but wasn’t able to see anything. Hopefully that means it’s gone for good!!
We're not
completely out of the woods as far as miscarriage goes but now that we've heard
his heartbeat the risk goes way down to 10%. I don't need to stay on bed rest
or anything because that won't stop a miscarriage but I won't do anything too
rigorous for awhile. We still have our original viability u/s on Thursday this
week so we'll keep that and hope for more growth and a strong heartbeat. Today
couldn't have been better!!
Saturday,
October 25th (2014): Bleeding
Our worst nightmare
became a reality today when I started bleeding. Earlier this morning I felt
some minor cramping that initially concerned me but I know that can often be a
symptom during early pregnancy so I tried to ignore it. I didn't think much
more of it until later in the afternoon when I went to use the bathroom and
there was bright red blood, not even old, brown blood. My heart stopped and my
stomach fell. I immediately called Logan
I laid down the
rest of the night and only saw a bit more blood so that made me happy. The
cramping has stopped and I even feel a bit nauseated so that's reassuring as
well. Prayers, prayers, and more prayers that he's still in there and cooking!
I'm trying to stay
strong and remember the sweet experiences we've had to confirm this pregnancy,
because there have been many of them, but that devil on my shoulder makes it
tough. I know worrying won't do me or this little guy any good so I will have
as positive an attitude as possible until we get more information at our u/s
tomorrow.
**Our sincerest
apologies go out to the primary presidency in our ward. We had to notify them last minute that we wouldn't be able to teach our class on Sunday morning OR be present for the
primary program. We felt SO bad!**
Friday, October
24th (2014): Six Weeks!
I’m officially six
weeks today! I won’t put too many
thoughts/details down here because I’ve already made a six week entry but I at
least wanted to mention it! Each week
that goes by I feel better and better and more excited! Week seven will be exciting because we should
hopefully be able to hear a heartbeat at our u/s on the 30th!
The progesterone
shots continue to go well despite having massive knots in my hips now. It seems like they’ll never go away but I
know they will eventually. Only four
more weeks of shots!
Wednesday,
October 22nd (2014): Precautionary U/S
It’s officially
official!! At 11:15 today we went to the
clinic for a precautionary ultra sound to ensure that this little bean is in my
uterus rather than some other place, like my tube. A tubal pregnancy after a FET (frozen embryo
transfer) is rare but not unheard of.
Because my hCG level didn’t double each time but continued to rise, they
wanted to make sure everything looked okay.
I was actually glad of an excuse to go in and check on everything
otherwise we would have had to wait until next Thursday for our viability u/s.
I continued to feel
very peaceful about everything leading up to the u/s today but I still felt a
few butterflies because there’s always that devil on your other shoulder
telling you something could be wrong. I
tried to block it out as best I could and remind myself not to worry. Logan
Our regular doctor,
Dr. Peterson, wasn’t on service but the doctor that was couldn’t have been
sweeter. I loved her! She came in and asked me some basic questions
like if I had experienced any bleeding or cramping up to this point (nope!), if
I was having any morning sickness (nope!) and if I felt pretty tired yet
(yes!). She then went on to explain that
even though my hCG didn’t double each time, there is the occasional pregnancy
that breaks the rule and ends up producing a perfectly healthy baby. Within two seconds of turning on the u/s
monitor, she turned to us with a big smile on her face and said: “We have a
pregnancy in the uterus!” I can’t
describe the relief that shot through my body.
Thank goodness! She then pointed
out the entire sac, the yolk sack, and our teeny tiny little dude. I couldn’t believe how small he was! He measured right on track at 5 weeks and 6
days. The doctor said that during our
u/s next week they will hope to see a week’s worth of growth and possibly a
heartbeat. We can’t wait!
One of my favorite
things about today was how thrilled the entire clinic was for us! The cute tech came in after the doctor left and
gave us a couple pictures from the u/s and then let us pick a hat out of some
darling hand knitted ones they had. She
said: “I know it’s hard to pick when you don’t know the gender.” We told her not to worry because we know! As we walked down the halls everyone that
passed us told us congratulations and we could tell we were genuinely thrilled
for us. What a happy, happy day!
Saturday,
October 18th (2014): Crappy Shot
For the first time
ever today, after 22 Progesterone shots, I had to give it to myself :\ Logan Logan
The knots in my
hips are starting to feel like golf balls and are super unpleasant. I was reading some forums online and most
women said theirs didn’t go away until 2-3 weeks after they finished with their
shots. How miserable! If I’m honest, however, the progesterone
shots have still been 10 times easier than I anticipated. I think I’m glad that I was told so many
awful things about them so I expected the worse. It’s really not that bad having to do them
but I will be happy in 4.5 weeks when I’m all done with them!
Friday, October
17th (2014): Third hCG Quant
I had my blood
drawn this morning for the third time this week to make sure my hCG level is
still rising. Apparently my insurance
will only pay for me to have it done twice at my IVF clinic so I had to go to
IMC this morning. I didn’t mind going
there at all because it’s closer to my work.
IMC will send the results to the clinic, who will then call me, so fingers
crossed it doesn’t take all day! I’d
love to have the peace of mind over the weekend of knowing all is well!
…Waiting…
GREAT news!! At 10 o’clock I decided to get onto IHC’s My
Health website to check if my labs were possibly posted already and they sure
were!! My hCG quant went from 784 to
1345!! That’s an increase of 71.6% and I
couldn’t be more thrilled!! I
immediately called Logan
Clinic Phone Call:
The clinic called
around 12:40 and this is how the conversation went: “Hi Liz, this is Lee Cherie
from the clinic. Your hCG quant today
was 1,345 so that’s a much better increase than the previous one but because
it’s not quite double so we would like you to come in for a precautionary u/s
on Wednesday next week to make sure the sack is in your uterus and not
somewhere else.” Part of me wanted to
laugh or decline the u/s because I feel that confident that everything is just
fine but I know it’s part of their protocol so I agreed. Typically this kind of news would make me
super nervous but I actually feel very peaceful. I even called my mom, who I was sure would be
nervous with that news, and she felt just as good about it as me :) Logan and I
are happy with all we’ve learned today so that’s all that matters!
Thursday,
October 16th (2014): More Waiting
After thinking more
about my hCG level today I’ve decided that one of the crappy things that comes
with IVF is all of the super close monitoring.
I totally understand why they do it but if this was a natural pregnancy,
I would have peed on a stick, seen two lines, and wouldn’t have had a single
thought about my hCG level. Logan and my
family were all super chill when I told them it didn’t double so that made me
happy too. Fingers crossed tomorrow’s
level comes back higher so then we just have the viability ultra sound to look
forward to and then I’m sure I’ll be able to breathe a huge sigh of relief.
I think I mentioned
before that my injection sites have been really irritated lately. The clinic suggested I try icing them after
but I still haven’t gotten around to trying that so I guess I shouldn’t
complain too much. My hips look like I
have a bunch of mosquito bites on them and they’re driving me mad. Maybe listening to my doctor’s advice would
be a good idea!
Wednesday,
October 15th (2014): Second hCG Quant
I finally received
a call from the clinic with my hCG quant from this morning and unfortunately it
wasn’t quite as high as they hoped.
Typically they like to see the level double every 48 hours and mine went
from 539.7 to 784. Rather than a 100%
increase, that’s an increase of 45%. I
surprisingly feel very calm and peaceful about it and still believe everything
is just fine. Let’s be honest, stressing
about it isn’t going to help or change the outcome so I’m going to keep a
positive attitude as best I can. I will
have my level re-checked on Friday to ensure everything is progressing
normally. In my mind, the dark line on the
home test last night and my nausea this morning are signs that everything continues
to go well :)
Wednesday,
October 15th (2014): Uh Oh…
I will stick to my
words and try to never complain when I get sick during this pregnancy because
I’ve wanted it so bad but I do have to say that I was a bit shocked when I
almost lost my breakfast this morning! I
was standing in the bathroom getting ready for work and feeling totally normal
when it hit me like a brick wall! I ran
to the toilet expecting anything and everything to come up but tried with all
my might to keep it down and fortunately I was successful. It passed pretty quickly and I haven’t felt
it again since but come on now, I’m only 4.5 weeks! Haha.
I had my blood
drawn again this morning for the follow up hCG quant so I’m excited to get
those results back this afternoon. I
don’t worry at all and know everything will be great but it will be nice to
receive the call from the nurses. Last
night I peed on a stick just for the satisfaction of seeing the double lines. The “confirmed” line was super dark and I was
super thrilled! Life couldn’t be better
:)
Tuesday, October
14th (2014): Happy Birthday to Me!
Yes, I know this is
my second entry today, but I just scheduled my first OB
appointment and couldn’t be more excited!
I realize I may sound a bit crazy that I’m so excited for these doctor
visits and things but it just feels so surreal to be where we are. I don’t want to see my OB
until I am about 10 weeks so I scheduled my first appointment for my birthday,
when I’ll be just over 10 weeks along.
My dad was like: “You don’t want to spend your birthday at the doctor,
do you?” Heck yes I do! If someone would
have told me several months ago that I would be spending my birthday at the
doctor for my first pregnancy visit I would have been ecstatic! That will be the best birthday present ever! I also scheduled my viability u/s for October
30th so that’s something to look forward to as well!
Tuesday, October
14th (2014): Happiness!
It’s amazing what
this exciting news has already done in just a few short hours. It feels like a giant weight has been lifted
off our shoulders. Logan and I were
doing great before we found out this transfer worked but we seem even better
now. There’s a joy to our relationship
that hasn’t been there in a long time. I
woke up this morning feeling so peaceful about our future and so grateful for
this miracle we’ve been blessed with.
Now I just wish it was 8 weeks from now so we could share this happy
news with everyone!
**Shot Update**
Logan continues to do a great job with my shots but last night something funny
happened and this morning my skin is quite irritated and itchy. Fingers crossed it goes away soon!
Monday, October
13th (2014): Today is the Day!
It’s Monday! We’ve been looking forward to this day for
longer than I can remember now! I got to
the clinic at 8:00am this morning and they took my blood without an issue. Fingers crossed there’s a lot of hCG in
it! They mentioned they would call me
around lunch with the results but I asked them if I could call them instead
because Logan and I want to hear the news together so we will meet for lunch
and call them. If it comes back at a
high enough level, they will have me come back on Wednesday morning to see if
it increases. I have a feeling this is
going to be the LONGEST morning ever!
…Waiting…
Well, we met for lunch
and immediately called the clinic but they hadn’t run the results yet…ugh. Since we both had to go back to work, I asked
them to call my phone and leave a message with the results as soon as they get
them.
1:11: I got back
from lunch at 1:00pm and they just called and left a message! I was hoping they wouldn’t call for awhile
because now I know the afternoon will be slower than molasses. It doesn’t help that today is a federal holiday
so we are super slow. Fingers crossed
the next few hours fly by!
1:31: I just got an
e-mail notification that I have two new messages in “My Chart” from the
clinic. Ahhh I’m going crazy! I’m sure it’s all about the test results but
I promised Logan
5:30: IT
WORKED!! I’m at a complete loss for
words to describe how we’re feeling right now.
I got off work a couple hours early so I went home and tried to pass the
time by watching TV and then made dinner a little early so it would be ready as
soon as Logan
We played the
voicemail for both of our families and they were all absolutely thrilled for
us! My family was in a group text and
this is what one of my brothers said: “Is it a coincidence that this is
announced on Columbus Day, where God brought Columbus Canada Colombo
or Turkey
My clinic was
hoping for an hCG level above 100 and mine was 539.7 so that was great! I’ll go back on Wednesday to have it redrawn
to make sure it increases and then we’ll do the viability ultrasound in two
weeks. I can’t wait for that! I also need to schedule my appointment with
my OB tomorrow because he can get booked out
super far. I don’t want to see him until
I’m about 10 weeks though so I’ll make it for 6 weeks from now. My due date changed a bit from what I had
calculated so rather than a June 18th due date like I thought, it’s
actually June 20th. The other
exciting bit of info. is that I get to stop the progesterone shots on November
21st, right before my birthday and Thanksgiving! That will be a great week indeed!
I’m sure I’ll have
more to say after this all sinks in but for now we will enjoy this happy, happy
day!
Friday, October
10th (2014): It’s the Weekend!
Just like everyone
else, I typically live for the weekend but this time it’s a little
different. I couldn’t be more excited
for Monday to come and would gladly skip Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday for
it to be Monday already. Why?? Because Monday is when we find out if this
transfer was successful! My patience is
starting to run out and I have a feeling this weekend is going to drag by…
Wednesday,
October 8th (2014): Sore Hips
I have to quickly
document last night’s shot because it was the best one yet! Logan Logan
Tuesday, October
7th (2014): Waiting…
Despite the painful
shot on Friday, they went well the last few days without too much pain. I can tell my body is tired of being poked,
however, because the needle doesn’t go in quite as smoothly and my skin around
the injection sites feels pretty numb.
It’s okay, I’ll gladly do it!
Today is technically the first day I could take a home pregnancy test
but neither of us wants to. There isn’t
a chance of a false positive with a frozen transfer but there is a chance of a
false negative so I don’t want to get a negative result and be super bummed the
rest of the week. I’ve surprisingly been blessed with
much more patience than I typically have so I’m going to ride that as long as I
can! **Blood work will happen Monday
morning at the clinic and then I should get a call back with the results a
couple hours later.**
Sunday, October
5th (2014): No Bleeding!
I’m usually quite
regular with my period and today is the day it should have started but thankfully
I didn’t see a sign of blood! I was a
bit anxious every time I went to the bathroom today but I never felt cramps or
any of the other symptoms I typically feel when I’m about to start. Thank goodness!
Initially we
decided to wait to tell our families the gender of our embryo until we got the
blood work back but my entire family was together for our traditional
conference brunch today so we decided to tell them! I got my brother and his family on FaceTime
and gathered everyone in the living room and then we told them the story from
our transfer day. As expected, there
were a lot of happy tears
because it made it very real for everyone else as well. It was a special moment for sure :)
Friday, October
3rd (2014): OUCH!
As I’ve stated
before, I really haven’t minded the Progesterone shots at all up to this point
but today was a totally different story.
My poor hips are running out of places that haven’t been poked so Logan
Thursday,
October 2nd (2014): Random Thoughts
It’s only been one
day since our transfer but I feel like I’ve known this little guy inside me for
much longer. The peace Logan and I feel
is indescribable and I’m so grateful for it.
We’ve started brainstorming names and of course I spent all night last
night looking at little boy clothes and shoes online (even though we have a ton
of barely used ones!*) I’m trying to hold off on any of that stuff until we
know whether or not this transfer is officially successful but I can’t help
myself. 11 more days!
Wednesday,
October 1st (2014): Transfer Day!
What an incredibly
peaceful and successful day. Logan
I’ve been told that
the transfer is typically anti-climactic because of how quick it goes but Logan
The rest of the
transfer went very well and couldn’t have gone more smoothly. It was so cool to see the embryo sucked up
into the syringe and brought into the room where they pushed it through the
tube and voila! I was given Valium to
help my uterus relax so by the time we got home I was pretty wobbly and ready
for a nap. In the past they tell you to
stay in bed for 2-3 days after your transfer but new research recently came out
that shows that bed rest doesn’t increase the rate of a live birth and going
about your daily routine can actually help because it gets your blood
flowing. I am excited to go back to work
tomorrow because as much as I love having a day off, I get pretty bored just
watching movies all day!
It’s hard to
believe we’re actually here! We’ve
planned and anticipated this day for a long time so we couldn’t be more
grateful it’s here and went so well. As
for how far along I am, on the day of transfer you are 2
weeks plus however many days old your embryo is. Our embryo is 6 days old so I am 2 weeks and
6 days pregnant which means I’ll be 3 weeks tomorrow! Haha... :) We go into the clinic on October
13th for blood work which will tell us whether or not the transfer
was successful! Fingers crossed I can be
patient that long! **I’m aware that I
can take a home pregnancy test before then but we’re thinking we’d rather wait
until the real deal 12 days from now.
We’ll see if we last.**
Tuesday,
September 30th (2014): Tomorrow!
The clinic called
me this afternoon to inform us that we need to be there tomorrow at
11:00am. It’s starting to feel real! I have to take a Doxycycline tonight and one
in the morning (I believe this helps with a possible infection but can’t
remember…). It’s so surreal to think
that I will be pregnant tomorrow! I like
what my mom says: “Innocent until proven guilty and pregnant until proven
otherwise :).”
The Progesterone
shots continue to go super well! I
honestly started to worry that they weren’t working properly because they were
so painless. Logan and I have decided
it’s a combination of a few things. 1. Logan
Sunday,
September 28th (2014): A Family Fast
Just as we did
before our cycle, our families wanted to do a fast together before our transfer
so I was excited when I realized that most of us would have Fast Sunday on the
28th, a couple days before our transfer, because of General
Conference. While it seemed natural to
fast for a successful transfer, I knew it was more important to fast for peace,
regardless of the outcome. If the transfer is
unsuccessful, I’ll be heartbroken and know I’ll need peace and if the transfer
is successful, I’ll be a worry wart and need just as much peace throughout my
pregnancy. Logan and I began our fast together
after dinner on Saturday and had such a special 24 hours. We were at my parents’ for dinner so we all
had a really nice prayer together and feel so hopeful about the upcoming week.
Friday,
September 26th (2014): First Progesterone Shot
I can’t believe how
easy the shot was! I had heard so many
horror stories about how awful this shot is but it really wasn’t a big deal at
all. The clinic suggested I give the
shots when I get home from work each day so I don’t go right to bed after
because it helps to walk around and help work the knots out a bit. The Progesterone looks like oil and takes
about 10 seconds to inject but I really didn’t mind it too much. Thank goodness! I’m finished with Lupron and have decreased
my Estrace to twice a day, morning and night, so things are pretty simple right
now.
Tuesday,
September 23rd (2014): Ultra Sound
I had an ultra
sound this morning to assess my uterine lining and it couldn’t have gone
better! It took about 10 seconds for our
doctor to say: “Everything looks great and is all set for your transfer!” Music to our ears! I wasn’t too concerned about an issue
arising, but it’s always nice to hear that things are going according to plan.
We met with our
nurse after to discuss the progesterone (yuck!) as well as the rest of our
plan. I will give myself two more Lupron
shots, tomorrow and Thursday, and then on Friday I will continue the Estrace
and begin the lovely progesterone shot.
The needle isn’t huge so I’m not too worried about that but it’s a
really thick oil. The nurse had Logan
**Funny Side
Story** A few weeks ago, shortly after I started Lupron, I was hanging out with
two of my IVF friends and one of them was preparing for her transfer a week
before us and I go to the same doctor as her.
She obviously didn’t know we were doing our transfer just one week
behind her so when she reminded me that their transfer was on Tuesday the 23rd
I almost died because I remembered that we have my ultra sound that
morning! I was sure we would see each
other and didn’t know what to do. In the
end I just hoped her appointment would be later than ours but if we did bump into
each other I would just tell her we had an appointment to discuss our embryos
or something. It turns out the transfer
appointments aren’t until later in the day and we had the first appointment so
we never crossed paths. Phew!
Monday,
September 22nd (2014): Through the Mouth of Babes
I always loved
watching the show “Through the Mouth of Babes” because kids say the cutest and
most honest things. Over the weekend I was Facetiming my brother and his kids
(who live in Minnesota
Friday,
September 19th (2014): Transfer Date Change
The clinic e-mailed
me a couple days ago and mentioned that if my uterine lining looks good during
my ultra sound next week, they will do the transfer on October 1st
rather than September 30th.
They didn’t really give an explanation for the change but it sounded
like a logistical thing. Let’s be
honest, one day in the grand scheme of things is not a big deal but for some
reason I like the thought of September way more than October! Haha.
I think I’ll survive :)
Wednesday,
September 17th (2014): Increase Estrace
I increased my
Estrace today from a ½ pill twice a day to a full pill 3 times a day. I don’t feel any different when I take this
so it doesn’t make much difference to me other than having to remember to take
it to work each day. I have my ultra
sound next Tuesday to check on everything so fingers crossed it goes well!
Tuesday,
September 16th (2014): Donating Our Embryos
We are now
officially two weeks (give or take a day) away from transfer! In some ways the past two weeks have dragged
on and in others they’ve flown by. I
sure hope the next two weeks go by fast!
I can’t wait to get to transfer day!
I woke up with a few concerns about how the Lupron
looked in the
bottle this morning but fortunately I was one quick phone call away from my MA
husband who told me what to do and said it was fine. Thanks, babe!
As you may recall,
Logan and I have 5 embryos that are either affected with SCID or chromosomally
abnormal so they aren’t viable for transfer.
Our doctor recently explained that there are three things we can do with
these embryos: 1. Donate them to the lab for further analysis. 2. Keep them frozen in the event more
advanced technology comes out that would allow us to safely alter the embryos
and use them in the future. 3. Discard
them completely. It didn’t take us long
to agree that we want to donate the embryos to the clinic rather than keep them
frozen or throw them out. We were
assured that they would never be used for anything but analysis purposes and we
were excited when they told us that they hope to one day have their own PGD lab
right in the clinic so studying embryos like ours will help them get
there. Donating the embryos helped me
feel like they had a purpose rather than if we just threw them away or left
them frozen for who knows how long. The
idea of keeping them and hoping we could one day use them is intriguing but we
figure/hope that by the time that could happen, we will be finished having
babies and onto raising them.
Thursday,
September 11th (2014): Estrace
I began taking
Estrace or Estradiol yesterday, which is an estrogen supplement that helps
maintain the endometrial lining of the uterus.
The pill is tiny and I only take half right now so every time I put it
in my mouth it quickly gets lost and then I get terrified I didn’t actually put
it in there. I’m paranoid, I know! The Lupron shots are still easy and have
quickly become part of my morning routine.
I’m not looking forward to the progesterone shots but when it’s time to
give those, we’re that much closer to transfer so I’m excited for that! We’re just about 2.5 weeks away from transfer
now and I’m starting to get the excited butterflies! I’m so grateful for this opportunity to
become pregnant and, as crazy as it seems, will even welcome the miserable
aspects of pregnancy, like morning sickness, just because I would be so
thrilled to be pregnant again. I can’t
wait!
Tuesday,
September 9th (2014): Headaches
I’ve dealt with
headache issues for quite awhile, probably since Jr. High, but they’ve been
extra crappy lately. I can typically
handle them pretty well but they’ve been turning into migraines the
past couple days
and the only thing that touches them is extra strength Tylenol. I e-mailed the clinic and they said the
Lupron can cause headaches and nausea so it’s nothing to worry about. I hope that’s all it is!
Friday,
September 5th (2014): Biopsy
I received a call
from the clinic this morning asking me to come in for a quick biopsy of my
Endometrial Lining. I hadn’t heard
anything about this before so it came as a surprise but it ended up being super
quick and easy. It turns out a study was
recently published that proved that women who are doing a frozen transfer (like
me) have a better chance of a successful transfer if they have this biopsy done
because for some reason it gets the proteins moving, which helps prepare your
uterus to accept the embryo. I’ll take
it! It wasn’t too bad, just pretty campy
for about 15 seconds but I survived and was happy to do it. I told them I would gladly do it again if it
would bump the chances up even more ;).
Even though the main purpose of the biopsy was to help prepare me for
transfer, they will still send it to pathology, who will be able to see if I
have an infection or cancer or something but that’s not expected and not why
they did it.
Thursday,
September 4th (2014): Why Keep It A Secret?
I have a feeling
that if this transfer is successful, we will be asked by quite a few people why
we kept this transfer so private so I would like to explain our thoughts on that. Let me begin by saying
it wasn’t an easy
decision to not publicly share this part of our journey with all of you who
have been our biggest fans and supported us the entire way. We don’t take the love and support we receive
from each of you lightly and know you would have sent your heartfelt prayers
and well-wishes our way had you known we were attempting a transfer. I have very close extended family members who
have done IVF, as well as a great group of girlfriends who have all done IVF,
that I couldn’t have made it to this point without and I wanted so badly to
tell them what we were up to but then comes that part of us that wants to be
sheltered from heartbreak as much as possible.
Back before I
became pregnant with Eli I had a miscarriage and we were devastated. I was very early but we were so excited and
had told our families and even a few friends so when I miscarried and we had to
face those people and tell them what happened, it was even more difficult. Logan and I know we can’t do this transfer on
our own, and we wouldn’t want to, which is why we told our immediate family
members only. As much as we wanted to
tell other friends and family as well, we were too scared of the thought of it
not working and having to tell that to everyone who knew. We have been through so much emotionally the
past 18+ months and want to protect ourselves when possible. We hope each of you will understand where
we’re coming from and remember that it was nothing personal!
**Fun Side Story**
As we were running
an errand yesterday I asked Logan Logan Logan
Wednesday,
September 3rd (2014): This Is Happening!
We have officially
begun the transfer process! September 30th
is the big day! We scheduled our transfer
with the clinic at the end of July but didn’t tell anyone--even our
families. As we had always said, we
wanted to go to Europe and enjoy our trip
without too many distractions and that’s exactly what we did. About a week after we got home we finalized
everything with the clinic and then immediately told our families the exciting
news. I couldn’t wait to tell my mom
because I knew she would be thrilled.
Both of our families have been extremely patient and supportive of our
need to take our time with everything but I know they have been very excited
for us to do this. There were many happy
tears when we broke the news!
I started the
Lupron shots on Sunday, August 31st and have felt great the first
few days. Lupron is easy so I didn’t
expect too much difficulty but I’ve even been pleasantly surprised with how
great I feel emotionally. During my
cycle I gave myself the shots at night but this time around I decided to give
them in the morning before work and I’m so happy with the switch! It was a pain any time we were out with
friends and I had to go home just to give myself a shot so I’m grateful we can
avoid that this time around, especially since we’re trying to keep it on the
down low. I’ll take my last birth
control pill on Saturday and will begin taking a pill called Estrace a week
from today. The
more unpleasant
shots won’t come into the picture until a few days before the transfer so
that’s happy!
Now that it’s
actually happening, I can feel my excitement mounting. Not too long after learning the results of
our cycle, Logan and I both felt ready to take this next step. Doing a transfer and attempting to have another
baby is something we both feel excited about, not just something we feel like
we need to do, and that is huge for me.
There were times after Eli died that I wondered if I would ever WANT
another baby. I knew we would have more
kids, I just couldn’t fathom ever feeling “baby hungry” again. I couldn’t have been more wrong about that. I have in no way “gotten over” or “moved on”
from Eli’s passing but I’m at a good spot in the healing process and know that
continuing to expand our family is the next best thing for me and Logan.
Because I love to
plan and think as far ahead as possible, I’ve naturally calculated the due date,
planned the nursery out in my mind (for a boy or girl), and thought about every
other thing that comes with being pregnant.
Initially I was scared to think about these things out of fear of being
heartbroken in the event the transfer doesn’t work because I know perfectly
well it is not a guaranteed thing. The
doctors reminded us that the chance of a successful transfer for someone who
did PGD is about 40% right now. At first
those percentages scared me but then I realized that I don’t care if the chances
are 99% or 1% because I know this transfer will be successful if that’s
Heavenly Father’s plan, regardless of the “odds”.
Friday, July 25th (2014): Retiring the Journal
Many, many thanks to those of you that have followed the first phase of our IVF journey and given us so much support! You never truly know how valuable others' support is until you receive it in time of need. We are so grateful for it! I will be retiring this journal for now until we begin the next phase of this crazy journey.
Xoxo
Liz
Wednesday, July 23rd (2014): PGD Results
Just like I hoped, the results are in before the clinic closed! I'm going to be completely honest, I'm a bit bummed with the results. I'm trying so hard to be grateful and positive because I know our results are better than many other couples I've heard about but it's tough when you set a goal or a number in your mind and then it doesn't quite happen. Lesson learned: Don't plan everything out to the tiniest detail. Trust that everything will happen exactly how it's supposed to, not how I want it to. Okay, enough of that!
Of the 8 embryos, 2 are affected with SCID (25% just like we expected) and 3 have other chromosomal issues which leaves us with 3 transferable embryos. Of the 3 embryos we can use, 1 is completely SCID free and 2 are carriers of SCID. I just confirmed with the doctors at Primary's that we don't need to be concerned about transferring embryos that are carriers because in order for their children to be affected they would have to marry someone that's a carrier of the same genetic condition just like me and Logan and that is very rare: 1 in 4 million. So, in our minds we have 3 healthy embryos which truly makes us happy because obviously it could have been worse. I think the reason I was a little discouraged initially (I'm feeling much better since we heard from the clinic about an hour ago) is because I know perfectly well that transfers aren't guaranteed so we'll just keep our fingers crossed that we have success with them! Tender mercy: You may recall that we had one lower grade (B3) embryo and the rest were B2s. It turns out the B3 was one of the affected embryos so our 3 viable embryos are all B2 and have a good chance of taking. Happy day!
Wednesday, July 23rd (2014): Request for Reimbursement Submitted
This isn't very exciting news and everyone reading this likely won't care but I wanted to document it for mine and Logan's sake. Even though the insurance agreed to pay for a portion of the IVF, we had to pay the money up front and then fill out the necessary forms and request a reimbursement. We just made our final payment yesterday so I was able to submit the request this morning. Fingers crossed they don't give us a hard time and the reimbursement goes smoothly! I submitted the forms, receipts, description of services and their letter to us stating what they would pay for so I'm hoping all of that is good enough the first time.
We're still waiting to hear the test results! I got a call from Natera yesterday and my heart immediately started pounding but unfortunately the guy on the other end just said: "Hello, this is so and so from the Natera billing department and I'm just calling to verify your card number so we can process your payment." Curses! Haha. I asked him when we can expect to hear from them with our results and he said they will give them to the clinic some time in the next 24-48 hours. Our clinic will be closed tomorrow through Sunday so I'm really hoping we hear today otherwise we'll probably have to wait until Monday... :|
Monday, July 21st (2014): Feeling MUCH better
It has been about 5 days since I regressed a bit in my recovery and I am feeling a ton better! I don't want to jinx myself but I think I'm just about back to 100% and it feels great to feel great. Rather than continuing to retain water, I finally started dropping a little weight so that's happy too. I'm almost done taking my post-cycle Rx that helps my ovaries shrink back to normal which means I should start my period some time later this week I believe. I'm actually excited for that to happen because then I'll feel like my body is starting to get regulated again and it also means I should be feeling totally normal for our trip in just a few weeks!
Still no word from the lab regarding the embryos' test results but I'm hoping we hear something by Wednesday. We've felt really peaceful and calm as we've waited to hear but I'm getting pretty excited to know so hopefully we get a call soon!
Wednesday, July 16th (2014): Hyper-Stimulated...Again
I was feeling quite uncomfortable yesterday so I talked to one of my nurses and explained that I was almost back to normal a few days ago and then all the sudden I feel crappy again. After explaining to her that I'm retaining water, I look 5 months pregnant, and I'm super sore, she said that I'm hyperstiumlated again. I had no idea that could happen if you had gotten over it once. Apparently even though I did everything I was supposed to last week, my body wasn't ready to go back to normal, daily activity. Let's be honest, it's not like I work out or do anything too intense but she said even just going to work and running regular errands can put your body over the edge again. Unfortunately I've basically started the recovery process all over so for now I can go to work since I have a desk job but I basically need to sit on the couch at home and do nothing else for a few days. I hate any form of "bed rest"! I definitely want to be 100% for our trip though so I'm gonna have to cooperate and take it easy. Fingers crossed for a speedy recovery!
Tuesday, July 15th (2014): 2nd Update on our Embroys
I love when things go according to plan! We were initially hoping that 13 of our 26 eggs would fertilize and that's exactly what happened. Our next target number was 8. We were hoping that of the 13 fertilized embryos, 8 would make it to the blastocyst stage. We got word today that that's what happened! 8 embryos made it and have been biopsied and frozen and the cells have been sent to the lab. We should receive the genetic testing results in 7-10 days so hopefully mid next week sometime. Our new goal or target number is 4. We would be so happy if they came back and said that we have 4 healthy, frozen embryos. We are thrilled with the progress so far!
As far as the grades of our embryos go, we're also very happy with those too! Before we began IVF, the nurse said to us: "Just so you know, the embryologists here at the U are perfectionists and are extremely tough graders. If you get a fair grade here, that's like an average grade at another clinic and if you get an average grade here, that's like a very good grade at another clinic." We kept that in mind as they told us about the grades of our embryos. Here's how the U does their grading: The letter B stands for blastocyst which is the stage they hope the embryos get to before freezing. The best grade they give out is B1 and then it goes to B2 and then B3 and then it drops down to a different grade from there. Of our 8 embryos, 7 are B2 and 1 is B3. The embryologist said to me: "Almost all of our pregnancies come from grade B2 embryos so those are great and you have nothing to worry about. Your B3 embryo is a little bit lower grade but it made it to the blastocyst stage so we were able to biopsy and freeze it." I have a friend I was talking to this morning who has done seven IVF cycles and she said they have only ever had one B1 embryo and the rest have been B2 so that made me happy. We are so grateful for all of the good news we received today and can't wait to hear the test results next week!
Side note: I woke up super bloated today and a couple pounds heavier than yesterday. My entire insides are really sore so I'll be keeping an eye on that and hopefully things calm down soon!
Sunday, July 13th (2014): Feeling Better
I finally turned a corner on Saturday and feel SO much better! I wouldn't say I'm back to full health yet but I'm close--probably 90% or so. Now that I think about it I really haven't been feeling crappy that long. It has only been a few days, it's not like it has been a few weeks or anything. Regardless, I'm glad to be on the up and up!
Naturally, we have people ask us all the time for updates on our embryos and then they ask if we're just going crazy not knowing how they're doing or what the test results are. To be honest, it hasn't been that way at all. One of my biggest weaknesses is typically impatience so I figured I would hate this waiting period but I have felt so calm about the whole situation. It was easy waiting a couple days for our first update and it hasn't been bad waiting for the next one that should come in a few days. Let's hope it stays this way! We're still expecting to get the genetic testing results back around the 24th of July (give or take a day or so). This is an exciting time!
Friday, July 11th (2014): Update on our Embryos
We finally received an update on our embryos or baking babies as I like to call them! :) Of the 26 eggs that were retrieved, 14 were mature and 13 fertilized and are "dividing normally". We were hoping for half, which is average, so we are very pleased! The embryos will be biopsied once they reach the blastocyst stage which can happen any time between days 3 and 7. As soon as all of the embryos have been biopsied, they will be frozen and the cells will be sent to California for testing which will take about a week. We should get another update around Tuesday or Wednesday of next week or as soon as all of the embryos have been biopsied. We are thrilled with the progress so far!
My recovery from all of this is a different story. I had no idea it would be so brutal! It doesn't help that I got sick right before my retrieval but I was also hyperstiumlated which came up right after the retrieval. I haven't technically been diagnosed with hyperstiumlation but I have all of the symptoms they told me to watch for and unfortunately all I can do is take it easy while my ovaries calm down. I'm not bad enough to where I need to go to the hospital or anything but it's definitely unpleasant to say the least. My ovaries are much bigger than normal so it makes everything else in my body squished. My stomach is squished so I constantly feel so full I need to throw up but then I feel hungry for some reason because I'll sometimes go so long without eating. It's definitely a balancing act. I'm supposed to drink 64 oz of Gatorade a day to keep hydrated and balance out my electrolytes but there's just no way that's been happening. I have a feeling I'm gonna hate Gatorade when all is said and done.
I sound like a huge whiner as I write all of that but I truly am so grateful for how well everything has gone. My body handled all of the medications so well and we couldn't be more grateful for the success we've had up to this point. Logan and I feel so blessed IVF was an option for us and feel honored to be where we are.
Wednesday, July 9th (2014): Egg Retrieval and The Flu
The egg retrieval was a success this morning! When they told us on Monday that I likely had 40ish follicles, keep in mind that only mature follicles will have and egg in them. The doctor this morning looked at my numbers and said he expected to retrieve around 20 eggs which he said would have been great. Our magic number: 26 eggs! We were thrilled! I was given Versed to help me sleep and expected it to take awhile to get into my system but I was out as quick as if I'd been given general anesthesia. I woke up shortly afterward and we were on our way home not too long after that. We now have to wait two days before the embryologist calls us and gives us and update about how many of the 26 eggs fertilized. I know that's going to feel like a lifetime! It's typical for roughly half to fertilize so we would be happy with anything around 13. Even though it's tough not to think too far ahead, we're trying to be grateful for the success of today and enjoy this process as much as we can!
When I mentioned yesterday that I might have hyperstimulation, I was wrong. Hyperstimulation or OHSS doesn't typically present itself until after the retrieval so I still need to watch out for that. It turns out I either have a nasty case of food poisoning from the Dominoes Pizza I ate on Monday night or there's a flu bug going around my family that I got because several of us are sick. I hate to complain but I do want to remember what yesterday was like so feel free so skip this part. I honestly don't think I've felt as sick as I did yesterday in my entire life. I felt like I had been hit by a truck, it was awful. Crazy side note: I was telling Logan how crappy I was feeling and he said he's never had the flu! What in the world?! Ya learn something new everyday, I guess. I thought that was too crazy. I'm not quite as achy today but my stomach is still pretty unhappy so hopefully it's on the mend because I'm pretty sore from the retrieval as well. 26 needle pokes in my uterus to get to the ovaries doesn't feel fantastic. All of this is worth it though and we can't wait to get an update in the next couple days!
Tuesday, July 8th (2014): Trigger Shot and Possible Hyperstiumlation
Well, my trigger shot couldn't have gone better last night! I was so nervous for it for some reason but Logan was a pro and did a great job. The clinic called yesterday afternoon and said they were worried about hyperstimulation so they instructed me not to give my three regular injections like originally planned but to just go ahead with the trigger shot at 8:00pm. The shot was a breeze and I was so glad to be done with injections!
I've had many people ask me how I'm feeling and I genuinely tell them that I've felt pretty good. I haven't felt 100% during this cycle but I definitely didn't feel as crappy as I thought I would. It seems as though I spoke a few hours too soon. I woke up shortly after going to bed last night and haven't been able to stay out of the bathroom since. This is probably TMI for most of you so I'm sorry but I've had it coming out of both ends and it's absolutely miserable. I put a call into my nurses who are tracking down my doctor and hopefully I hear back soon. All I can say is I can't wait for my retrieval tomorrow morning!
Monday, July 7th (2014): Ultra Sound (Day Eight)
My appointment couldn't have gone better this morning! The doctor who's on service this week began the ultra sound was said: "Wow! You have more eggs than my chickens laid yesterday!" Haha. The nurse in there was trying so hard not to laugh. I'll take it as a compliment! I seem to have somewhere around 45 follicles still but 25+ seem to be mature which is way up from just 5 on Saturday! The nurse reminded me that there's no way to truly know how many are mature but from the measurements they are able to get a good idea and quite a few were measuring in their ideal range. Logan and I are thrilled!
More exciting news: I'm triggering tonight and will have my retrieval on Wednesday morning! We were thinking it might be a little earlier than Friday so we were excited to hear that my last shots will be tonight. I will receive a call later this afternoon with more concrete information (including a new estrogen level) but right now they told me to plan on administering my three regular shots exactly two hours before my trigger shot (probably around 5:30) and then my trigger or hCG shot will probably be around 7:30 which will make for a 7:30am retrieval on Wednesday morning. We can't wait!
Logan will continue taking the Doxycyline until Wednesday morning and I will take it one time tomorrow night before my retrieval. I will be given Versed and Fentanyl for the retrieval so hopefully I can sleep through it. Side Note: Eli was on Versed and Fentanyl for months so I had another flashback when they told us that's what I'd be given. It's hard to believe and exciting to think about the fact that roughly 48 hours from now we'll be on our way to searching for those SCID free embryos!
Saturday, July 5th (2014): Ultra Sound (Day Six)
I had an ultra sound at the clinic today where we received some encouraging news but also learned we have a ways to go still. The U/S revealed a total of 42 follicles which is great because it tells us the meds are doing their job. Dr. Peterson said everything is going really well and he's pleased but I'm only day 6 so he doesn't want me stimulating too fast. They drew some blood so they could find out my estrogen level and then they would make tweaks in the dosing from there.
I heard back a few hours after my appointment that my estrogen level is quite high and that of the 42 follicles, only 5 are mature so far. We are cutting the Menopur in half with the hope that it will slow down the production of follicles and allow the ones already there to mature. We go back in on Monday morning for another ultra sound.
I've talked to a few friends who've told me not to worry because all of my follicles won't mature anyway but that 5 is a good start for now because I still have several days at least before my retrieval. It's too soon to know when it might be but our guess is sometime between Wednesday and Friday of next week.
Mature, follicles, mature!
Wednesday, July 2nd (2014): Side Effects
I've been so grateful the last two days that I give my shots at night because I'm able to go to bed soon after. They haven't been awful but I definitely don't feel too great after and I would hate to have to go to work right after if I gave them in the morning. Yesterday I woke up and felt pretty good so I was hoping that would be the case today but unfortunately it wasn't. I have a brutal headache but the worst part: NAUSEA. I hate feeling sick. I always think back to the days I was pregnant and ask myself how I'm ever going to do that again. Haha. Okay, I'm done being dramatic. On the bright side, I'm actually glad I'm feeling something because it helps reassure me that the meds are doing their job. I would be nervous if I felt totally normal because I'd be worried the shots weren't working! I'm anxious for my appointment on Saturday so we can hear how everything is going!
Tuesday, July 1st (2014): New Shots
Logan started taking Doxycyline yesterday and I added two more shots to the protocol and cut the Lupron in half. I was about to stick myself with the full dose of Lupron before realizing I was supposed to change it at the last second. It may not have been the end of the world if I had forgotten but I'm glad I didn't! The Gonal-F, which I administer with a Redi-Ject Pen, was simple and easy but the Menopur was no fun! I was already stressed out trying to remember how to mix it and change the needles and then when we finally figured it out it burned like crazy! I'm hoping now that I know what I'm doing and also know what to expect it won't be as bad tonight. Fingers crossed!
Sunday, June 29th (2014): Flashback to Junior High
I was told by many people before we started this cycle that the Lupron would make me hormonal but I didn't realize how true their words would be. I feel like I've slipped back into 8th grade! I haven't felt this hormonal in years and I really feel bad for everyone that has to put up with it. I have a short temper, I'm more pessimistic than normal and little things that shouldn't be a big deal end up being a HUGE deal. Yesterday I was having one of my mini-meltdowns but rather than get frustrated with me my sweet husband put his arm around me and said: "I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Talk to me about what you're thinking so I can try to help." It's those moments that I truly realize how ridiculous I'm being. Many thanks to my husband, family and friends that have been so patient with this temporarily-new-me!
Thursday, June 26th (2014): First U/S Screen and New Meds
Our appointment went well this morning! They did a quick ultra sound to ensure everything looks good and is ready to go for the next stage of the cycle. It only took a few minutes and we were given a green light and told everything looked great! Two doctors and a nurse came in for the U/S and I have to admit it gave me some not-so-happy flashbacks of constantly having multiple doctors walk in Eli's room when they had bad news. We're grateful it was good news this time!
I've heard from quite a few people how crappy the meds get at this point but it turns out I won't be doing any of those right now because we're doing a frozen transfer. The big needles and thick meds will come down the road when we decide to do a transfer. For now, I will continue Lupron (which I will cut in half on Monday) and on Monday I will add Gonal-F and Menopur. I haven't heard anything too terrible about these meds other than that they burn and leave bruises and welts. I've been told by a few people to wear sweats whenever I can so I'm not bothered by a tight waistband. I'm good at that!
I will be going in for another U/S a couple days earlier than normal because they said there's a possibility I will stimulate quickly so they're going to keep an eye on it. My next U/S will be on Saturday, July 5th and then I'll likely be seen just about every day the next week until my retrieval which is still tentatively set for Friday the 11th. We're feeling great and are excited to start the next phase of the cycle!
Tuesday, June 24th (2014): Cold Sores and Cramps
What do cold sores have to do with IVF, you ask? Nothing at all but it's no fun dealing with cold sores on top of the IVF side effect I'm already feeling. I had never gotten cold sores until we got married but now I tend to get them whenever Logan does if we aren't careful. Rather than getting cold sores around my mouth like Logan and most other people, I get them all down my throat and throughout my gums. It's absolutely miserable. Swallowing, eating and brushing/flossing my teeth is dreadful and causes a lot of bleeding. About a week ago Logan noticed a cold sore coming in so we kept our distance. Unfortunately we didn't do a very good job because my throat started hurting a couple days ago and sure enough, I have them covering my mouth and throat again. I was able to contact the clinic and get a Rx for Valcyclovir which I just finished this morning so hopefully that combined with a ton of Abreva will nip this issue in the bud.
I also woke up this morning with bad leg cramps but I'm not sure if that's from the Lupron, the antibiotic, or the fact that I'll be starting my period any day now. My mom told me to eat a banana and sure enough they were gone like 10 minutes later! Thank goodness for moms.
The Lupron continues to be a breeze and I still haven't had any major issues with it. I was told by several people that Lupron is pretty easy so I didn't expect it to be too difficult. I'm excited to hear what they have to say at my appointment on Thursday!
Saturday, June 21st (2014): Last Birth Control
I took my last birth control pill tonight. What a happy day! I haven't had a terrible experience with it but there are a few unpleasant side effects I will be pleased to get rid of for awhile. I will continue taking 10 units of Lupron each night and on Thursday I have an appointment at the clinic for a screening and I believe this is when I will get the much more exciting shots...can't wait!
Friday, June 20th (2014): Lupron Side Effects
It has been about five days since the Lupron has been in my system and I think a few of the more common side effects have started to show their faces the last couple days. I was reading a bit about IVF and talking to my trusted IVF pals and there seemed to be a common theme: fatigue, water retention and headaches. Those three things fit me to a T!
No matter how much sleep I get, I'm absolutely exhausted all day and can barely keep my eyes open until my head hits the pillow each night. If I look disinterested in what you're saying, I promise that's not the case! About a month ago I finally made a connection with eating healthy and had lost around five pounds and I feel/look like I've gained all of that back plus some unfortunately. Hopefully it all comes off pretty quick once I'm finished with this cycle! I'm almost positive the headaches I have during the day now aren't caffeine headaches because they're quite different than anything I've felt before. I have a friend that described these Lupron headaches best. She said: "It feels like the headache you get when you smell paint or a strong odor like that for a long time." That's exactly how mine feel!
While feeling exhausted, fat and having constant headaches isn't ideal, I would take those three things any day over being nauseated. I HATE feeling sick to my stomach! I know life will get more unpleasant as we add new medications to the picture but I definitely can't complain too much just yet.
Tuesday, June 17th (2014): Logan's Turn
I gave the first two shots to myself because I felt like I could control the situation better than if Logan was giving them to me but tonight I decided I want him to give them to me. I feel like he's able to be more involved if he's giving me the shots and I want him to be comfortable with it when the big ones come around because he'll have to give those to me for sure. Thankfully Logan's job as an MA has made him a natural and he did a wonderful job!
Logan also gave me a blessing tonight and I'm so grateful for it. Ever since Eli's hospital stay I've learned not to read too much into the details of a blessing but rather to allow the peace and comfort of them into my heart. I sometimes have a hard time not dissecting the little things that are said to me (or whoever) and fail to take advantage of the peace a blessing can bring. After tonight's blessing I wrote a few things down and then prayed that I would feel comforted from the blessing as a whole. I have absolutely felt very calm since and was once again reminded what a blessing it is to have the Priesthood in our home.
Monday, June 16th (2014): Caffeine Withdrawals
Note to self: Never attempt to go off caffeine while starting an IVF cycle ever again. Let's be honest, I hope this is my only IVF cycle anyway but I sure made it difficult on myself. Not only was I exhausted yesterday because of the lack of caffeine in my body but I've also had awful headaches the last two days. I've been told I likely won't feel any effects from the Lupron for a few days so I sure hope I can get over my fatigue and current headaches before anything else sets in!
Sunday, June 15th (2014): First Shot!
Well, I've officially begun my cycle! It's so weird thinking we're to this point when it has been in the planning stages for so long. The first shot was an absolute breeze! My sweet friends invited us over while I did my first shot so they could give me advice and moral support. They're IVF veterans so I am very grateful I have them!
The Lupron needle was tiny and I really didn't feel it burn at all after the medicine went in. I've heard Lupron is pretty easy but that it gets way more exciting in awhile when the needles are much bigger. I'll enjoy the next couple weeks while I can!
Monday, June 9th (2014): This is real!
I received word from the pharmacy today that my meds are ready to be picked up and the clinic e-mailed me with all the details. I figured I'd have an appointment sometime this week to go over everything but it sounds like I won't be seeing them for a couple weeks! I hear the Lupron isn't too tough to administer and thankfully I have lots of family and friends with experience and they have offered to help me kick things off on Sunday. I can't wait to get started!
Friday, June 6th (2014): ...Go!
After a lot of talking and thinking, the verdict is in: let the games begin! Everything is ready to go and we feel good about the timing so full steam ahead! Our feelings are pretty conflicted right now because we are thrilled to start this process and are so grateful it's possible but it is also resurrecting certain emotions that are tough to handle.
If I want to be finished and recuperated in time for our trip I need to start Lupron by June 15th aka a week from Sunday! That seems so soon!
Thursday, May 29th (2014): Ready, Set,...
We're not quite ready to go but we're getting closer! For the last six months we've been prepping for a cycle even though we haven't been ready to start one. Logan and I are planners (okay, I'm really the planner) and have wanted all our ducks in a row so we could take off without looking back when we felt ready. All of the consults, blood work, exams, insurance approval, etc. has been taken care of so now it's just up to me and Logan to decide when we want to get this party started. We will take some time to discuss our feelings and hopefully come to an agreement sometime soon on the best time to get going. I love the feeling of knowing we've done everything to prepare ourselves for this and can now start as soon as we feel it's right.
Tuesday, May 27th (2014): Test Development Complete!
We just received great news from Natera! Our test development is complete and they are ready for us to do a cycle as soon as we'd like. As a reminder: When our embryos are five days old, they will be biopsied and then frozen for a future transfer. The five cells that are removed from each embryo will then be sent to Natera where they will test first, and most importantly, for SCID (this is the PGD portion). They will also be testing for any missing or extra chromosomes which will rule out a number of other genetic disorders (this is PGS). They obviously can't test for everything but the PGS will rule out many other serious conditions.
For some reason it's such a relief knowing our test is ready to go. Logan and I are going to Europe in August so we now have to decide if we want to do a cycle before or after our trip. We won't be doing a transfer for some time but we would like to do a cycle so we can have the embryos frozen and ready for a transfer whenever we decide it's time. (Yes, I'm still banking on the idea that we will have enough healthy embryos to have some frozen. **Fingers crossed!**)
Thursday, May 8th (2014): All Samples Okay
We just received word that Logan's mom's second sample has validated and they are now in the process of confirming the mutations in the lab. We will be notified when the test development is complete but I don't expect it to be too soon. May 29th will be two months since they began working on it so hopefully they finish right around that time. Even though we're not ready to do a cycle, I'm weird and like the thought of it being ready right now. Call me crazy!
Tuesday, May 6th (2014): Minor Procedures at the Clinic
I woke up WAY too early this morning to make the trek to the Centerville clinic for a 6:30 appointment for an SIS, Trial Transfer and Ultra Sound. Everything went great and we couldn't have received happier news! My uterus and ovaries looked great and Dr. Peterson said I have tons of eggs so I will be easily stimulated. His next sentence is what we've been hoping for all along: "My goal is to get your entire family in one cycle." Of course that's much easier said than done but we seem to be on the right track. Logan and I hope and pray we can get enough healthy embryos in one cycle so we don't have to worry about doing a new cycle each time. In order to get pregnant with Eli I had to have surgery to clear out my endometriosis so I expected to have to do that again before we do a transfer but it turns out my uterus and ovaries show no sign of the endometriosis growing back. Dr. Peterson said if there's any there then it's just stage 1 or 2 which won't make any difference at all during a cycle or transfer. Hallelujah! I know some of you that have had that surgery agree with me that it's AWFUL! The recovery is super crappy and then it takes your uterus a few months to heal so I'm glad we don't have to worry about that this time around.
We haven't heard anything from Natera regarding DeAnne's second sample so we're assuming no news is good news!
Friday, April 25th (2014): Another Failed Sample
We learned today that my mom's second sample worked but now Logan's mom's sample failed to validate. In their words: "This never happens twice!" Fingers crossed the second time is a charm for my mother-in-law as well!
Thursday, April 10th (2014): Failed Sample
Natera contacted us today informing us that my mom's saliva sample failed to validate. Apparently this only happens 10-15% of the time. Naturally we would fall into that category! ;) They are sending her a new kit and expect a second sample to work just fine.
Monday, March 29th (2014): Samples Received by Natera
Natera, the lab we are using to test the embryos for SCID, confirmed receipt of our blood and saliva samples and have begun the test preparation. We have been told it will take 1-2 months to complete the test. There are a few things we can do in the meantime to continue preparing for a cycle but we're basically on hold until we hear back from the lab.
Friday, February 28th (2014): Insurance Coverage Confirmation!
We received word from our IVF clinic today that our insurance has agreed to pay for a large portion of IVF for us. We went for the grand slam and hoped they would pay for everything given our circumstances and the need for IVF but we were told not to expect them to do that so we weren't too surprised when they came back and said no. We were, however, very happy when they agreed to pay for as much as they are!
Friday, November 29th (2013): AMH Testing Results
At our first appointment I had my blood drawn to determine my AMH level. I don't know much about what this means but I do know that it should give us an idea of my fertility. Dr. Peterson told us to expect a number right around 4 and it came back at 3.51. I haven't spoken to Dr. Peterson about the results but he did leave a comment on my chart online that says: "Great AMH, great egg reserve". I'll take it!
Tuesday, November 19th (2013): Initial Consult
Those of you that know me know that I'm a planner and would love to have the next 5 years planned out in detail. While Logan and I still aren't ready to have another baby, we both felt like it was time to start learning more about the IVF process considering we know that's what our future holds. We have received several recommendations from close friends on which doctor to see and our plan was to visit several different ones before making a decision. Eli's immunologist referred us to Dr. Peterson at the U and we also have some friends who love him so we decided to see him first.
We couldn't have hoped for a better first visit! Dr. Peterson was wonderful in so many ways and a huge blessing for us. We had never even met and the first thing he did was walk in the room and express his condolences and asked us how we were doing. It meant a lot to us that he had read over our chart so thoroughly before even meeting with us. As we were discussing the genetic disorder we are carriers of and the chance of recurrence, he injected such confidence in us that we would absolutely be able to have healthy children in the future and that this was just an extra step we needed to take. Logan and I left the appointment knowing this was the doctor for us and feeling much less overwhelmed with the journey that lies in front of us. While we know there are many extremely capable doctors, we no longer feel the need to visit any others and we couldn't be more grateful to have found a doctor we feel so comfortable with already.
Liz, I am SO very happy that things seem so be sailing along so smoothly! The IVF process fascinates me, it is so incredible what modern medicine can accomplish. Thank you for sharing this amazing journey with me!
ReplyDeleteJust caught up with your journal this morning. I can't wait to hear what they say at your appt today either!
ReplyDeleteSarah, you are too kind! I love your support more than you know :) Let's get out on a ride together soon!
DeleteSo excited for you both Liz. Good luck on Wednesday. Prayers for your health and success.
ReplyDeleteOh geez, so sorry that you are SO sick! That is horrible. Once your retrieval is complete I hope you can be back to your normal self!
ReplyDeleteLiz!! I am on pins and needles. I can't wait to hear the outcome. I am just ecstatic reading your updates (minus the very uncomfortable parts you've had to go through-- hyper stimulation sounds awful!) and will be anxiously awaiting to hear the news!
ReplyDeleteYay for 8 embryos! Boo for hyper stimulation (again)!!
ReplyDeleteGrandma Janet is so grateful for three healthy embryos and for their brave and faithful parents. Love you Liz, Logan and the three little frosties!
ReplyDeleteThree embryos!! That is terrific. I am so happy about this news!
ReplyDeleteSo excited for the progress you have made in this journey and for 3 healthy little embryos! We are in the middle of our fertility process too, very similar to all the IVF stuff you have to do only we fertilize in utero. But still all the fun of the pills and the shots- it's worth it though! When I get stressed or super hormonal with all the medications I just picture my sweet baby in my arms. Sending so much love and happy thoughts your way! Let me know if you need anything! (My fertility doc actually prescribed a full body massage- now THATS a great doctor)!
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