My Boys' Birthdays!

This time of year is exciting for us not only because of the holidays but because all of our birthdays take place as well.  First up: Eli on January 4th.  I had many different thoughts and emotions leading up to this day.  I was excited and nervous all at the same time not knowing how I would feel but also wanting to make sure we made it as happy a day as possible for him.  It was definitely happy!

I had the opportunity to spend the morning at a baptism for a man in our stake who's been investigating the church for a couple months.  I was fortunate enough to attend a few of his lessons with the sister missionaries and learned so much as I watched his spiritual growth.  Witnessing this man enter the waters of baptism definitely got me in the right mindset for what we had planned the rest of the day because it allowed me to have a much more eternal perspective.  

After the baptism we met our families at the cemetery where the kids had fun putting little toys on Eli's headstone.  Even though Eli never had a chance to do many "little boy" things, it made me so happy listening to his cousins talk about how much he loved playing with trucks because, naturally, that's what all little boys love.  We spent a few minutes talking and taking pictures before singing and releasing white balloons in honor of SCID awareness.  

There was a slight breeze that took the balloons as soon as we let them go so it seemed as though they were being taken straight to to Eli.  It really was a neat experience.

Afterwards we all went to lunch together and had a chance to reflect on the year.  My parents gave us each a gift "from Eli" that we loved.  I got a neat bracelet with Eli's name on it and Logan got a model airplane that says: "To My Daddy, Who Gave Me Wings To Fly.  Love, Eli" That couldn't be more accurate!

It's hard to believe Eli joined our family 1 year ago.  It feels like it was 10 years ago but I'm sure that's to be expected given what's gone on the last 12 months.   Although we had a wonderful day, I can't wait until we can celebrate all together.  Happy Birthday, little buddy!

**Many, many thanks to everyone for all the love and support on Eli's birthday!  It truly does make it so much more enjoyable having so many friends by our side.**

January 6: Logan's Birthday!

Some of you may remember that we were still in the hospital last year on Logan's birthday and I completely spaced it!  I couldn't believe I didn't remember until he said something about it halfway through the day.  To say I was mortified is an understatement.  I was bound and determined to make it up to him this year.  

During lunch I surprised Logan at work with some balloons and one of his favorite desserts: Kneaders' Fruit Tarts.  I didn't get to see him so I called him and asked him to take a picture but he wouldn't.  I know it made him happy though!

The treats were gone by the time he got home but at least I have a picture with the balloons!

After we both got home from work we went to Tucanos for dinner.  We both love it and always over eat.  Midway through dinner Logan said: "Please don't ask them to sing to me" so what's the next thing I ask our waitress to do?? Sing to him, of course!  I'm an awful wife.  I should have taken a video of them singing but I didn't even think about it.  They walked out yelling to the whole restaurant, shaking a tambourine and asked everyone to sing along while Logan stood up in front of everyone.  His face was priceless and I'm sure he still hasn't forgiven me!

We had a fun night and hopefully somewhat made up for last year's debacle!  Before my 

brother headed back to Minnesota we were able to celebrate Logan's birthday with my family so that was a lot of fun as well!  Happy Birthday, Rico!  Welcome to Club 24!

When all the kids were together for the holidays we were able to get this adorable picture of them.  Even better: This group will be expanded this year! (No, NOT by us!)

Left to Right: Adam (3) Tanner (7) Ben (3) Nathan (6) Klara (6) Will (9) Lily (1) Mady (8) Amelia (18 months) Not pictured but there in spirit: Eli (1) :)

Love you, little peanuts!

So Long, 2013

What a year.  My feelings about last year are hard to put into words.  I experienced the most happiness I've ever felt but I have also never experienced more heartache.  I have never been tried more in my life yet I've never been more blessed.  My faith has never been shaken harder and my testimony has never been stronger.  I can't deny that I'm anxious to turn the page and see what our future holds but I am absolutely grateful for everything I experienced the last 12 months.   

So much of our lives is vastly different from how we thought it would be right now but I truly love what my life has become.  As a result of everything that happened last year, specific people and opportunities have come into my life that wouldn't have otherwise and I couldn't be more grateful for each one of them.  It's always said that God only gives you trials you can handle but I know I was given such a trial because my testimony was lacking in many ways and needed help.  If this is the price to pay to become closer to our Savior, I know it will be worth it.

Logan and I are a happy family of three but people often ask when we will get pregnant again.  'One day' is all we tell them.  We are happy, enjoying being with each other, and healing.  In time our desire to expand our family will be there but not right now.  Through medical technology we will have the blessing of ensuring our future children aren't affected with SCID and we are so grateful for that.

One thing Logan and I constantly talk about is how grateful we are for the endless amount of love and support we have received from the moment everything began last year.  Every single thing that was done on our behalf, no matter how big or small, was more critical to our strength and healing than any of you will ever understand.  We are able to put one foot in front of the other each day because of the help we continue to receive from everyone around us.  We hope to one day have the ability to repay each one of you that have been such a blessing in our lives.

We hope everyone has a fantastic new year!

When we were living in the hospital, we had the opportunity to be a part of the StoryCorps project with Primary Children's Hospital.  We had a roughly 1 hour interview where Logan was the interviewer and I was the interviewee.  Our interview was condensed into a 5 minute segment and posted to the hospital blog.  For those of you that didn't see it on Facebook a few days ago, you can listen to it below:

http://primarychildrenshospitalblog.org/2013/12/30/elis-battle-with-scid-a-parents-perspective/#comments
(If the link doesn't work for you, go to www.primarychildrenshospitalblog.org and scroll down until you find out story.)

Other random happenings...We had a fun New Year's Eve with my family playing games and eating lots of food!  My brother had to take his family back to Minnesota this morning and, as always, it was sad saying goodbye.  I'm going to miss this face!

Some of our good friends invited us to the Jazz game on Monday and it was my first time in a suite!  The new video boards are absolutely massive and no picture can do them justice.  Many thanks to the Neff family for the invite!

Here's to a happy and healthy 2014!

Christmas!

I can't believe Christmas has already come and gone! On the Saturday night before Christmas my dad called me and said: "Hey, come on over real quick.  I want you to see something we got for Christmas."  Considering it was so late I figured he wouldn't call unless it was important so we drove over there and opened the front door and these boys ran and jumped into our arms!

Christmas could have never come and I would have been as happy as if it had!  For those of you that aren't aware, my oldest brother and his wife and kids live in Minnesota.  We don't get to see them nearly often enough and haven't spent Christmas with them in 4 years so you can imagine how excited we all were when they surprised everyone and showed up at my parents' house on Saturday!  Because of missions and family living out of state, it was the first time since 2006 that my entire immediate family was together for Christmas and and it was fantastic!

We spent Christmas Eve with Logan's family this year and had a great time.  There was quite the crowd at his parents' house so it was a lot of fun catching up with everyone.  We had a White Elephant gift exchange which is always hilarious and exchanged gifts with Logan's siblings.  The younger kids got to open a few presents which, in my opinion, makes Christmas so much fun.  I love watching the kids get so excited as they open everything.  After our Christmas Eve festivities wrapped up we headed home to prepare for Santa to come!

Christmas morning rolled around and we were up pretty early to get ready for the day.  We opened stockings and presents from each other which is always so much fun even though there's only two of us.  I feel like we're creating our own traditions that we'll have one day with our kids.  As always, Logan spoiled me and I think (hope!) he enjoyed what I got him as well.  

We opened our door to throw away some garbage and found a gift waiting for us.  I read the card and was so excited to see that it was from one of the amazing SCID moms that I've become friends with.  I couldn't believe the time and effort she put forth to make this for us.  Look how amazing!

They look exactly like the boxing gloves that we hung over Eli's crib!

This wonderful lady lost a baby of her own this year to SCID and continues to serve others before herself.  I feel so blessed to know her.

Our first stop of the day was to the cemetery to visit our little man.  I expected it to be crowded or at least to see other people but there was no one in sight which was actually nice.  We spent a few minutes talking to him and wishing him a merry Christmas while enjoying the peaceful feeling that was there.  I was never a fan of cemeteries before all of this but now it's one of my favorite places to be.  We felt such a special spirit and know Eli was there with us.

My family always does a Christmas brunch so we headed for my parents' house first.  To say their house was wild is a definite understatement.  The cousins get so excited to see each other since it only happens a couple times a year and they get a bit crazy.  We had a great afternoon eating and hanging out and loved being all together!

Logan's family does Christmas dinner so we headed for their house later that evening and enjoyed yummy food and played games with his fam.  Thanks to our amazing families we had a wonderful Christmas and couldn't have asked for anything more!  

Logan and I were both able to take the day after Christmas off which hasn't happened since we've been married so we decided to go skiing for the first time this year.  We had a ton of fun but I haven't been in a couple years since I was pregnant last year so I could barely walk the next morning.  I clearly don't work out enough!

I typically leave my Christmas things up until around New Years but we got home from skiing and I had a sudden urge to take it all down so that's what I did!  It didn't take too long and a couple hours later we had our house back to normal and everything put away so it was definitely worth it.  

We had a wonderful holiday and are so grateful to everyone for all of the love we received.  It could have been much tougher than it was so we are very thankful to everyone for all of the support!  We hope everyone has a safe and happy new year!

**SIDE NOTE**

Before Eli was in the hospital I had never donated blood consistently but because he needed nearly daily blood transfusions I became very grateful that the blood was readily available whenever he needed it.  After we got home from the hospital I promised myself I would donate as often as possible and have been able to do so a few times now.  I always feel so happy after I leave knowing my small donation could potentially make a big difference for someone.  If you ever have the opportunity to donate, please take advantage of it!

There's something so rewarding about doing this!

Festival of Trees

What a week!  I fantasized about the Festival of Trees since the moment I knew Eli was going to have a tree and it turned out better than I could have wished for.  There aren't words to explain my feelings of this event or how I felt when I saw Eli's tree for the first time but this picture does a pretty good job:

I was quite emotional and know Eli was there with us.  This is definitely a moment I will never forget.

Everything about Eli's tree and everything around it is absolutely perfect.  Although the fantastic ladies who put this all together never met him, they captured Eli better than even I could have.  I'm sure he was helping them along the way :) For those of you that weren't able to make it to the festival, here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure.

Logan and I have gone to the Festival of Trees every year for awhile but this year was different so I made sure to be there every night.  It was so fun to be there each night with different friends and family.  

Wonderful Co-Workers

Fantastic High School Friends

The Lovely Cynthia

Because of these wonderful people, Eli's tree gets to go home with me and Logan!

Thank you, thank you, mom and dad for this Christmas surprise!  Logan and I are so grateful Eli's tree will stay in our family.  Maybe one year we'll let you put it up in your house... ;)

I loved going to the festival each night to see Eli's tree but it was definitely a welcomed sight to see it delivered today!  Its home will be my dad's office this year before being moved to mine and Logan's casa for next year.

If it weren't for these two incredible ladies, none of this would have been possible.  Dana and Melanie, all of it was perfect and we are so grateful you provided our family with this wonderful experience. You will forever have a special place in our hearts.  

I sure love these ladies!

In other exciting news...Eli's headstone was finally installed!  There was quite a bit of drama trying to get it so we couldn't be more relieved to have it figured out.  The cemetery told us they would continue installing headstones until the snow came so we were nervous it might not happen.  It ended up getting put in on Monday and the snow came on Tuesday.  What a blessing!

We are so happy with how it turned out!  It was definitely worth the wait! 

Mi Cumpleaños & Thanksgiving

The amount of love I was shown on my birthday was truly overwhelming and meant more to me than anyone could ever know!  My family, friends and of course my amazing husband treated me too well this year!  People often tell me they feel bad I have to "share" my birthday with Thanksgiving but I love it.  This is my absolute favorite time of the year so I can't think of a better time to have a birthday.

As our family has grown it has gotten harder and harder to celebrate everyone's individual birthdays so we just celebrate once a month now.  My dad and I share November so we went to dinner with the fam a few weeks ago and, like always when we're together, had a great time!  

There's definitely nothing I love more than spending the night with just me and my wonderful Logan!  We went to dinner at my all-time favorite restaurant--Tsunami.  We both love sushi so it was heaven!

Thank you, thank you to everyone for the kind posts, messages and phone calls that made me feel so loved!  Your love and support brightened my day as we thought of our little Eli who left us just over 6 months ago.  Miss you more than ever, little man!

I love simple pictures like this one that remind me of his tube/cord free days
Yes, those are socks on his hands :)

Thanksgiving was a wonderful, relaxing day.  We were with Logan's family this year and had a great time celebrating with both his mom's and dad's side.  What's better than two feasts?!  Logan played football in the morning while I slept cozily in bed and then it was off to our parties for the afternoon/evening.  Logan loves looking through all the Black Friday ads but we're not too into all the shopping.  I went for the first time last year and that was more than enough for me.  I'd rather spend a bit more money and avoid all the crowds while hanging out with the fam!  I was awful with my camera and took virtually no pictures but the three "Fs" sum up our day best: Family, Food & Football!

Like many other people, I always spend the day after Thanksgiving putting up Christmas so that's what happened today.  I always get so discouraged thinking about pulling everything out of storage but I'm always so happy with how it turns out!

Last year we bought Eli a stocking that matched ours even though he wasn't due until January so unfortunately he never got to use it but I pulled it out today and was so grateful we have it.  It makes me so happy seeing the three of our stocking hanging up together!

I have been looking forward to next week for so long and am so excited it's almost here!  The Festival of Trees has always been a favorite tradition of ours but I know it will be extra special this time around.  I've only seen tiny glimpses of all the work that's gone into the tree so I can't wait to see the finished product!  I hope many of you can go and support the hospital and all the work that goes into the Festival!

Happiness

I was hanging out with a few friends last week and we were having one of our many wonderful conversations about life when someone said to me: "Liz, you always seem so happy.  Is it a front you put on around people or is it real?" Without hesitation, I responded: "It's real.  It's absolutely real."  Although I'm sure she already knew what I said next, I added: "It's amazing what the gospel can do for you as long as you allow it to bless your life."

From the time I was little and attending primary I remember being taught by my family and church leaders that the gospel would bring us peace and comfort during all phases of life and that the gift of the spirit would be one of the greatest blessings we would ever receive.  What I don't remember learning is that we would have to allow the peace of the gospel into our lives--it would never force its way in.

I'm slightly embarrassed to admit this but I don't think I fully understood the concept of allowing the gospel to bless my life until recently.  Logan and I had received the heartbreaking news of Eli's diagnosis, we were living in a hospital and we had told our family and friends that in order to keep Eli as healthy as possible we didn't want any visitors coming to see him.  While we knew this was the best decision for his health, it was very difficult isolating ourselves for so long.  The staff was incredible and I care about them more than they'll ever know, but I desperately longed for the life I imagined we'd have when I got pregnant.  

While I knew those thoughts were only natural, I hated that I was feeling and thinking that way.  I wanted to wake up each day excited about my life and anxious (in a good way) for what was to come.  I told myself that in order to genuinely feel those things, I needed to first pray and ask for those blessings and second, prove to God that I had the necessary faith in his promises to bring me that peace and happiness I wanted so much.

Many things in life are much easier said than done and for me, this was one of them.  I knew I needed to give up all fear and doubt so I could prove that I trusted in God's plan for Eli and for me and Logan but that was so difficult when so much was at stake.  The best example I can compare this to is when you are asked to close your eyes and fall backwards and someone promises they will catch you.  You stand there with your eyes closed, often for awhile, before reluctantly allowing yourself to fall.  Fear and panic rush through you and you're sure you're going to hit the ground hard when at last someone catches you.  There's no better feeling, is there?  That is exactly what I experienced, but 100x better, when I finally stopped trying to do things on my own and allowed God to truly take over.

Rather than celebrating milestones parents typically look forward to, we found joy in things like successfully taking 5+ oral meds in one sitting, bravely completing a dose of chemo, not fighting the nurses too much when a new IV was placed or mouth care was done and most importantly: doing all of the above mentioned things plus much more with a smile on his face!

I would be lying if I said things were never difficult after that because boy they sure were but I am still amazed to this day at how much love, peace and comfort I felt and continue to feel every single day.  Logan and I experienced a parent's worst nightmare yet the happiness we feel is almost tangible and we know that has come, just like we were promised in primary, because we allowed the gospel to work miracles in our lives.

Life couldn't be more different right now from how Logan and I imagined it would be yet it's still wonderful.  My heart aches to hold Eli and watch him grow up and not an hour goes by that I don't think about him and long to see his all-telling eyes stare up at me with all the confidence in the world but I know my time to experience those things will come sooner than I can imagine and I would hate to miss out on this incredible chance at life I have been blessed with.  While I am tempted at times to ask god: "Why?" I instead thank him for the perfect guardian angel Logan and I now have and offer all the gratitude I can muster for catching me before I fell.   

~My Perfect Baby Angel~

Halloween Festivities

We have officially reached my absolute favorite time of the year.  Don't get me wrong, I love Summer but there's nothing better than the holiday spirit and spending extra time with family.  The weather has been perfect so I hope it stays this way for awhile before the snow arrives!

Logan and I had our annual Halloween party with our friends from high school last week.  It was our turn to host this year but due to the fact that we have a tiny abode, we crashed at my parents' house. Thanks, mom and dad!

Everything was planned last minute but it turned out great and we had a lot of fun!  I don't love spending a ton of time coming up with clever costumes so we typically find whatever we can in the closet but it's always fun seeing what everyone else dresses up as.

Logan's guy friends will appreciate this belt buckle

Logan set the timer on the camera and had it take like 10 photos so everyone started having fun after the first one.

Reverse Charades was included in the evening and oh my goodness, it was hilarious!  I spent most of the time laughing at everybody else rather than participating like I was supposed to. Some of these candid shots show you how much fun we were having.

 

Logan had an online test on Halloween night so I walked around the neighborhood with my friends from Tangled.  

Lily turned one the day before Halloween and her mom had these adorable pictures taken of her:

Lily and Eli are going to be best buds one day.  They were only 2 months apart and every time Lily sees a picture of Eli she gets the biggest grin on her face and talks non-stop. Happy Birthday, Lil!

Only four more weeks until the best holiday of the year!