Day 1: We're Off! (Friday, August 8th)

I can't believe we're finally on our way!  Getting out of the house was a bit chaotic but not as awful as I thought it would be.  When we bought our backpacks I thought they were huge and could fit the world in them.  I definitely changed my opinion after attempting to  pack last night!  I had to cut my clothes by quite a bit and sacrifice several things I was hoping to bring but in the end it all worked out well.  The weight limit for a carry-on bag in Europe is 22lbs and we're both closer to 24 but we're hoping they don't check the weight too closely.  If they do, we'll take some advice we heard and just put on a few extra layers of clothes! ;) 

Logan's mom picked us up from our place and dropped us off at Tom's house so we could all head to the airport together.  Tom and Chelsie (and soon Russ and Ellen) are going to be so much fun to travel with!  Chelsie and I will be in Europe for the first time but the boys all served missions in Germany at the same time so they'll be great tour guides, I'm sure!

Logan and I have fantasized about this trip ever since he got home from his mission and we seriously started talking about it last Summer so it has definitely been a long time coming!  When we booked our flights in January it felt like August was light years away and would never get here or that the world would end before then or something.  I'm so excited our trip is here and can't wait to experience everything we will have the opportunity to see and do!

Tomorrow: Reykjavik, Iceland

We will arrive in Iceland around 6:30am (local time) tomorrow and will do our very best to sleep on the plane so we can stay awake for the rest of the day and somewhat adjust to the time change.  

My goal is to blog at the end of each day but I'm not positive what our internet situation will be like so I'll do my best!

Let the adventure begin!

IVF Blessings

Stage 1 of IVF is complete and we couldn't be more thrilled to have it behind us!  It's hard to believe that for the last 12+ months we knew we'd have to go the IVF route so that was often the bulk of our conversations and now the main portion of it is finished.  What a relief!  I am so happy we chose to do a cycle before our trip to Europe.  It is so comforting having a clearer picture of our future and I know I will be able to relax and have a more enjoyable trip now that our cycle is in the past.

All the details of our cycle are in the "IVF Journal" tab so I'm not going to share many of them here but I will recap this crazy ride we've been on the last 6ish weeks.  After regulating my body with birth control for a few weeks I started my first shot--Lupron.  Lupron keeps your body from releasing your eggs so they can collect as many as possible during the retrieval.  I was super anal about giving myself the Lupron right on time otherwise I'd have these visions of all of my eggs flying out of my body.  Haha.  Overall, the Lupron wasn't a big deal at all.  The needle was tiny and I didn't feel too many side effects from it.  Physically I handled the Lupron just fine but man was it rough on my emotions!  Poor Logan hadn't seen me that hormonal in a long time and he was such a champ with it all.

After taking the Lupron for two weeks, I added two more shots--Gonal F and Menopur.  Both of these meds stimulate your body and help the eggs get ready for retrieval.  Gonal F was simple and Menopur stung a little but overall wasn't a big deal at all.  Each of the three shots individually were just fine but it got old giving myself three shots every night pretty quick.  The bruises on my stomach are almost all gone though so that's happy!  The first five or so days of giving myself three shots weren't too bad but by the time my egg retrieval came around I was feeling pretty uncomfortable.  My doctor warned us that I would probably stimulate quickly and that I was also at risk for hyperstimulation so I wasn't too surprised when it happened but that didn't make it any easier to handle.  For about ten days after my retrieval it was a roller coaster of feeling sore and nauseous but I'm pretty sure I've turned a corner for good and feel myself again!

Now for the exciting news: Logan and I were incredibly blessed throughout this cycle.  We have had such positive results and know that all of the prayers that were said on our behalf made a huge difference.  26 eggs were retrieved, 14 of those eggs were mature, 13 of them fertilized and 8 made it to the ideal blastocyst stage where they could be biopsied for testing and then frozen.  We were so thrilled when we got the call telling us that 8 of our embryos would be tested because we knew we had a good chance of having a few healthy embryos frozen for future transfers.  There is a 25% chance of recurrence with SCID so we expected at least 2 to be affected which would leave us with 6 and then we figured a couple more would have some other genetic condition that they were testing for.  4-5 healthy embryos is what I hoped for and would have made us happier than we can describe.  

I should have known better than to set such concrete numbers in my mind because that often leads to disappointment when it really shouldn't.  Yesterday the clinic called and told us that of the 8 embryos, 3 are recommended for transfer because they are SCID free and chromosomally normal.  I was shocked that 5 of our 8 embryos weren't viable and would have to be discarded.  Initially I was pretty discouraged that less than half of our embryos could be used.  2 of the 8 have SCID (exactly 25%) and 3 others have missing or extra chromosomes which would have lead to a different genetic condition or would have stopped the pregnancy from taking altogether.  After allowing the information to sink in I started to realize the endless number of blessings that came from this cycle despite not getting as many embryos as I hoped.  We have 3 embryos that will hopefully turn in to 3 healthy babies!  I know perfectly well that 3 is better than 2 or 1 or 0 so if those are my options then I will absolutely take 3.  I know many people that have done multiple cycles and never gotten any embryos or the embryos they did get weren't great quality.  Our 3 embryos are all grade B2 which is really good (B1 is the highest grade).  It is such a blessing that our doctor encouraged us to pay for the extra testing (PGS) otherwise we would have saved those 3 embryos with missing or extra chromosomes and either had unsuccessful transfers or other genetic conditions to deal with.

Because we did genetic testing, the lab and clinic know the gender of all of our embryos and asked us if we wanted to know what they were.  I'm so glad they asked before just telling us because we definitely didn't want to know.  Many people I talk to are surprised we don't want to know but it just doesn't feel right knowing to me.  I feel like we know as much as we need to as far as the SCID goes so I don't want to know any more than that.  If we changed our mind they can tell us at any time but I like the idea of finding out just like everyone else during an ultra sound a few months into the pregnancy.

We get the same two questions pretty often so I will do my best to answer them here for anyone that's curious.  1) When are you going to do a transfer?  I can honestly say we don't have a date yet.  We didn't want to plan anything too definitive until we knew whether or not we have any healthy embryos.  Now that the cycle is behind us and we know that we have some healthy embryos ready and waiting, we can start discussing a transfer.  We want to go to Europe and not worry about any of that and just enjoy our trip and then we'll probably start thinking about it.  Each of these steps we've taken with IVF have been a huge hurdle in the healing process and obviously having a baby is going to be the biggest one yet.  We are going to take our time with all of it and not rush each other and when it feels right we will move ahead. 2) Since you'll be transferring multiple embryos, does that mean you'll have twins?  Let me clarify something: We will NOT be transferring multiple embryos.  Our doctor strongly encourages SET (Single Embryo Transfer) because fortunately we have strong embryos.  Obviously a transfer is not guaranteed and there's a possibility it doesn't work but we will only ever transfer one embryo at a time.  So, to answer that question, we still have a possibility of having twins just like anyone else because the embryo we implant could divide but we will not be transferring multiple embryos.  As fun as twins would be, we wouldn't choose to take on that task!

 Looking back, the cycle went way faster than I thought it would and overall was much easier than I expected.  The shots went really smooth so that was a pleasant surprise and I felt much more patient than I anticipated so that was a huge blessing as well.  I knew it would be important to have Logan's support during all of this but I had no idea how helpless I would have been without him!  We took turns giving me the shots, he was by my side every time I threw up, he hugged me when my emotions got the best of me and he has taken such good care of me during my recovery.  This cycle was absolutely just as much about Logan as it has been about me and I'm so grateful we've been able to experience it together.  Thanks, babe, for all you've done an continue to do for me and our little family!

Many, many thanks for all of the prayers and support we received during this crazy ride!  Logan and I couldn't do it without each of you cheering us on.  We know many couples that have chosen the same IVF route as us with not nearly as much success so we are completely aware of how blessed and fortunate we are to have had these positive results.  Thank you for traveling this journey with us!

Ps...I just realized this is a LONG post without any pictures!  For some odd reason I didn't take a single picture during all of this.  One of my friends videoed my first shot which I will try to post but other than that I don't have anything to show.  Fortunately I kept good written notes of everything that happened!

Fourth of July

What a fun holiday!  I love all holidays but the 4th always seems to be one of many peoples' favorites, including mine!  My oldest brother's birthday is on the 4th but unfortunately he lives in Minnesota so we weren't able to celebrate with him.  I hope you had a happy birthday, Paul!  We miss you and can't wait to see you in a couple weeks!  Like a lot of you, our day was busy from the moment we woke up bright and early for the parade to the minute we went to bed after fireworks sometime around midnight but it was all so much fun and definitely worth it!

I have to admit, this holiday was one of the toughest for me since Eli passed away.  I know Thanksgiving, Christmas and birthdays are bigger deals than the 4th of July but most of you know that I loved dressing Eli in new outfits and the fourth is the perfect opportunity to do just that.  Last year when he was still in the hospital I bought him the most adorable outfit (shoes included!) online hoping he'd be home or at least able to wear it but unfortunately that didn't work out.  I saw some of the cutest little outfits I could have put him in this year so it was definitely a tear jerker for me but I made it through and all is well :) I was able to see pictures of some pretty stinkin cute kids in their outfits so luckily I got my fill!

Logan and I woke up early so we could make it to the Murray parade with his family.  Moving out of Murray has made me appreciate the parade so much more because I hear so many people that live in other cities talk about how they don't have a parade or how small theirs is.  We were happy to go back!

 

After the parade we went out to breakfast with Logan's family and it was delicious!  Following breakfast (which really happened closer to lunch time) we visited our little man at the cemetery and put flags near his headstone.  I love visiting Eli any time but holidays are extra special.  After visiting the cemetery we went to see How To Train Your Dragon 2 with Logan's family.  I wasn't a huge fan of the first one but I thought the second one was great!  I would love to have that one in our collection at some point.

After the movie we met up with my family at the home of some of our dearest friends for a BBQ and swimming in their pool.  Later that night we all went over to the fireworks in Holladay and they were actually quite impressive!  The song choices were a little odd but the fireworks were really long so we loved it.  For some reason I didn't take a single picture but we had a blast.  There's something so great about spending quality time with friends you've known since the day you were born.  We had such a good time and are so grateful to the Neff family for being so wonderful to us.  We sure love you guys!  

Late Friday night my brother's wife Staci went into labor just a couple days past 36 weeks.  Around 10:00am on Saturday morning they did a C-Section and their little Liam Blake was born happy and healthy at 6lb 2oz and 18in long!  He is doing so well and we couldn't be more grateful and excited to welcome a new member to our family!

Lily loves Liam already and is going to be a great big sister!

This little guy's name is pretty special.   My brother Blake served his mission in Ireland and most of you probably know that Liam is Irish for William, which is my dad's name, so it has always been one of Blake's and Staci's favorites.  Congrats to you both!  We are so happy for you and love that little man to pieces already!

 

Third Anniversary

Happy three year anniversary to my sweet husband (tomorrow)!  I talk about this often, especially lately, but time is a funny thing.  I feel like we've been married ten years, not three.  I know you couples out there that have been married much longer than us will probably laugh when you read that but I attribute it to two things: 1. Logan and I have been friends since we were 12 and have dated since we were 18 and 2. We've gone through far more than I expected we would during our first three years of marriage.  In some ways it feels like our wedding just happened and in others it feels like a lifetime ago.  Either way, it's so fun celebrating this special time and reflecting on how grateful I am for my temple marriage to Logan.  

I don't want to forget how we celebrated our first two anniversaries so I'm going to very briefly recap them.  We spent our wedding night at the Grand America so for our first anniversary we spent the weekend downtown and stayed in the same room we stayed in on our wedding night.  It was a simple and fun but very relaxing weekend!  For our second anniversary last year, we decompressed from the excitement of things and went to Jamaica.  I don't think we'll be able to beat that celebration very easily!  In about 6 weeks we're taking off to Europe so rather than spend a lot of money on another extravagant vacation for our anniversary this year we decided to head to Park City for the weekend.  We found a Groupon for a resort in Deer Valley and spent the weekend relaxing, eating yummy food and of course shopping!  Logan and I were both able to get off work a couple hours early so around 4 o'clock we headed East to the Chateaux Deer Valley.  Talk about amazing mountain views and a cozy, cabin-like room!

We drove up roads like this one for quite awhile which was so great because the resort is tucked away in the mountains which gives it a very secluded feel.  We loved it!  Even though we were only 45 minutes from home, it felt much further.

Below are a few views from the pool which was just outside the patio to our room.  Ocean views and being at the beach are amazing but in our opinion, it's hard to beat these views too.

We have stayed at some pretty neat hotels and resorts but we loved our room at this resort because of the cozy feel it had.  The angles in our room were awkward for pictures but I was able to get a few decent ones.

We were even given a nice card from the staff with anniversary well-wishes:

Rather than drive down into PC for dinner we decided to eat at an Italian restaurant at the resort.  Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures but it was delicious!  After dinner we relaxed in the hot tub, watched a movie, and talked and laughed.  It was a simple night but it was just what we needed.  

We loved the thought of being able to sleep in but unfortunately our brains woke us up at 6:45 sharp.  We went downstairs for the breakfast that was included in our stay and it was amazing! We had a lazy morning and finally got ready to check out around 11 o'clock.  Our next stop was the Park City outlets which is easily dangerous.  Many of the stores were having 50% off sales so we were able to find some great deals.  We don't splurge on ourselves too often so we had fun finding a few things.

Because we had already spent a few bucks, we decided to take it easy for lunch and treat ourselves to Taco Bell.  It actually tasted really good for some reason!

Logan's sister and brother-in-law recently bought a cabin in Oakley and were driving out to do some work on Saturday afternoon so we decided to tag along since we were already halfway there and we wanted to check out their new buy.  Their cabin is a fixer on a great lot and is going to be so much fun when they're finished!  We're hoping to learn some new skills ourselves by helping them out with the renos.

Overall, the weekend, while short, was perfect and just what we needed.  It was so nice to escape from the daily demands of our lives and enjoy being with just the two of us for awhile.  We can't wait for out next stay at the Chateaux Deer Valley!

I am so grateful for Logan and the happiness he brings to my life.  Despite the challenges in our past and the ones I know we have yet to face I find great comfort knowing I have him by my side.  He's such a wonderful father and husband and I can't wait to watch him magnify those callings in the days ahead.  I know year four will bring just as much happiness and growth as the past three years have and I can't wait to experience it with my main man!

Father's Day

Without further (or any) ado: Happy Father's day to each and every daddy out there!  I love days that I am able to spoil other people in my life without having any of the spotlight on me.  Father's Day is fabulous because it gives me an opportunity to honor the two most important men in my life--my husband and my dad.  Because words, gifts, lunch dates and breakfast in bed won't do it justice, I hope these two know how much I love and appreciate all that they are in my life.

Dear Dad,

Happy Father's Day!  I hope you know what an honor it as to be the only girl in the world that gets to call you dad.  Having grown up with five brothers, I truly am and always will be a daddy's girl.  From the time I was little I have valued your advice and protection more than you will ever know and as I get older I begin to understand how fortunate I am to have it.  

Despite all that you have given me in life, there is nothing I admire more about you than your love for and knowledge of the gospel.  I have never met anyone as dedicated as you to the church and all that it asks of us.  I hope you know that one of the main reasons I am who I am today is because of how you raised me and how I've watched you live your life.  Much of the strength of my testimony comes from knowing yours and for that I am forever grateful to you.

I can't wait for the days and years ahead in which we will be able to create many memories and experience life's trials together.  Thank you for joining me for lunch a few days ago--there's nothing I love more than our quality time with each other.  I hope you have a happy Father's Day and know that I love you!

Lizzy Lou

 

Logan,

I wish there were words to express my love and admiration for you.  As soon as I met you I knew you would one day make an amazing father but I had no idea how much you would exceed my expectations.  Because of the love I have for our boy, I found no greater joy than by watching you be a daddy to him.  Thank you for making those dreams come true.

There aren't many men in this world that would have the strength to do what you did for 3 1/2 months while your family was living in a hospital.  Knowing you were waking up before the sun rose each morning so you could get enough hours in at work before driving to the hospital for the remainder of the evening made me more grateful for you than you could ever imagine.   Eli was always happiest when his daddy was home and I know his heart aches every day that he is apart from you.

Thank you for being my best friend and most trusted confidant.  No matter what I go through in life, as long as I have you by my side, I know I can overcome it.  Being married to such a dedicated disciple of Christ drives me to be better every day with the goal of one day living my life as well as you do.  I love you, Rico!

Liz

Our day has been filled with fun Father's Day celebrations beginning bright and early with breakfast for my main man.  I am far from skilled when it comes to cooking/baking but thankfully Logan is far from picky so he gratefully ate my rookie breakfast. After breakfast I gave Logan what he has wanted for a long time--a bracelet he could wear each day to remember Eli.  I have a necklace with Eli's thumbprint that I love so much so Logan has always wanted something for himself.  Logan is a pretty classy/preppy guy so he pulls this off well.

We quickly had to get ready for church and head over a few minutes early so we could be ready to teach our first lesson to the 10 year olds!  Neither of us has ever taught primary before (nursery doesn't count) so we are really excited for this calling!  I also had the special opportunity of speaking in our new ward for the first time today.  I spoke on the Priesthood and learned so much about how amazing the Priesthood holders in our lives truly are.  I hope I never take for granted what a blessing it is to have a worthy Priesthood holder in our home.  This ward doesn't have couples speak together so Logan will speak another time.

After church we came home for lunch and a nap before we spend the evening with our families.  We will stop by my parents' to visit my dad before heading over to be with Logan's dad and family for dinner. I'm so grateful for my father-in-law and hope he knows how much I love being a part of his family and married to his wonderful son.  I have three brothers that are amazing dads and I am so grateful for their wonderful examples to me as well!

After dinner it will be time for my inaugural shot!  I'll update the "IVF Journal" page a little later with more details on how it went!

IVF Cycle #1

IVF, here we come!  Several things that we didn't expect would be ready for awhile have fallen into place so we had a decision to make: Should we do a cycle before our trip to Europe in August or would it be better to wait and start everything when we get back?  It really came down to one important factor--are we ready? After a lot of praying and pondering, together we decided that we are ready to take this step and we couldn't be more grateful this opportunity is available to us.  

In order to be finished with the cycle and have plenty of time for recovery before our trip, I need to start Lupron this Sunday.  It's hard to believe we're starting so soon!  I won't have an appointment at the clinic for a couple weeks so it sounds like I will begin the shots on Sunday with a tentative retrieval date of July 11th.

Because of our need to test the embryos, we will be doing a frozen transfer.  We have not decided or even discussed when that might be, however, we are excited that we will go on our trip knowing whether or not we have any healthy embryos frozen for future use.  

For those of you that are curious and aren't as familiar with IVF, the process will go something like this: I will begin on Sunday, June 15th and the egg retrieval will be sometime around the middle of July. When the embryos are five days old, five cells from the outer layer of each embryo will be biopsied and sent to a lab in California to be tested.  Once biopsied, the embryos will be frozen at the clinic. The lab will be performing PGD and PGS.  PGD will test the embryos for SCID and PGS will test for any missing or extra chromosomes.  Every disorder can't be tested for but PGS will rule out many genetic conditions.  It will take around one week before we receive the results from the lab at which point we will know, as I said above, if we have any healthy embryos.  

I remember hearing about IVF growing up and happen to be surrounded by many friends and family members that have done IVF themselves but never imagined it was a route we would have to go ourselves.  Who does though, right?  To all of you who have any experience with IVF: We would love your input/advice/tips/tricks!  Whether it's advice for me, who will obviously be doing the cycle, or Logan, who will be my biggest supporter, we would love any words of wisdom you have to offer!

When we began the IVF process back in November, I created a draft page that I've been using as a journal so we don't forget the details.  I didn't plan on posting it until we started a cycle but the entries were all written on the date the appointment or news took place.  The entries probably won't be exciting and more than likely won't have pictures, I simply want to write down the details because I know we'll quickly forget them.  You're more than welcome to check that page out if you're interested in more frequent updates during my cycle.  I'll write a main post occasionally but will probably post a few times a week on the "IVF Journal" tab.

I've said it many times before but I'll happily say it again: Logan and I are so grateful for the endless amount of support we continue to receive.  It is so fun sharing our journey and experiences with all of you and we would appreciate your prayers for a successful cycle more than you can imagine.  Here's to our next great adventure!

PCH Telethon

What a special experience!  After we were asked to be interviewed for the Primary Children's Hospital Telethon, I knew two things: 1. I was nervous to be in front of the camera on live television but 2. Despite the nerves, it would be a neat experience.  Boy was I wrong!  When we got to the hospital and began prepping for the interview, I was TERRIFIED!  I wouldn't have been surprised if my heart had jumped out of my chest because it was beating so hard.  For some people this camera business is no big deal but for us it was.  We tried to keep in mind where to look, where not to look (they told us not to look at the camera at all but I may or may not have snuck (sneaked?) a couple peaks at the end) and how to sit, how not to sit.  The interview actually flew by and Doug Wright is the sweetest man I have ever met.  We were able to DVR the telethon at home so we came home after and watched it.  Watching it was fun because we were able to see the clips of Eli and I think it definitely could have been worse so I can't complain too much.  We didn't seem to say anything too embarrassing or stutter too much so we'll take it!

Being a part of the telethon wasn't just a neat experience, it was an incredible experience.  Everyone from the volunteers up to the president of KSL were so wonderful to us and we were so honored to share a bit of our story again.  We had a couple minutes after the interview to talk with Doug Wright and he was so genuine and kind.  Fortunately we were able to get a couple pictures to remember this special night.

After the interview our nerves were finally gone and we were able to go upstairs and enjoy the fun dinner/party the hospital provided for everyone involved with the telethon.  We had a lot of fun eating dinner out on the newly completed rooftop deck and enjoyed watching other families participate in the telethon.  

So many thanks to the hospital for inviting us back this year!  There aren't words to express our gratitude for that wonderful facility and the love we feel from the entire staff.  

**We received so many kind texts from our friends and family and hope you all know how much we appreciate your support!  We know prayers were said on our behalf and cherish them more than you know.  We couldn't have done it without the help of so many others!  For those of you that weren't able to watch the telethon last night and have asked how you can see it, we're hoping to secure a copy soon.  As far as I know they won't post it online but you're more than welcome to come over to our house or my parents' to watch it on the DVR! :)**